It's Been Too Long!

It hurts my heart to admit that I have not written a single post here this year.  I have been writing, just not here.  One of the places where I do write almost daily is in my Morning Pages Journal.  This is a discipline that I have had for many years, one that fuels me creatively, intellectually, and spiritually.  Though this writing is not fit for public consumption, it is was inspires me to write in other places.  Over the last bit, I have found myself scrawling over and over how much I miss blogging regularly.  It is not that I think I have something to say that others want or need to read, it is more a discipline that helps me to document my life, a somewhat selfish act.

The other night I went back and read several of my posts from my early days of blogging.  I was so grateful for those words.  They gave power to such small and seemingly insignificant moments in my life, but moments that I wanted to remember nonetheless.  Moments that now are so much more important than I ever believed that they would be.   I am sad that there are now big chunks of time to which I did not dedicate even a few words.  There is nothing that I can do about that now, but I can try to pick up where I am and begin again.  Start where I am.  I need to write regularly.  I want to write regularly.  I will write regularly.

In the midst of being a bit hard on myself,  I do have to remember that although I have been absent here, I have been active creatively in other places.  I have continued to take a photo a day.  2016 is year four.  Here is a video of the 121 daily photos that I have taken so far this year.  The video creator crops the photos square though many of them were not originally square, so they look a bit strange.

I have also continued to write a food and photography blog, Pixels, Plates, and LOLs, with my friend Tracey Gehring.  This is a super fun venture, but it does take a fair amount of time each week.  Here is the link to some great recipes and food photos.  Currently we are documenting our joint weight loss adventure.

And, Weber and I continue to help our furry friend. Blueper B, with his blog.  Again, we have not been as diligent there as we would like, however, we are making a commitment to keep that space current as well.  If you are interested in the adventures of Blueper B, you can read his blog here, or follow him on Facebook.

As I approach the final two weeks of this semester, I know that I am biting off a big chunk here with a public promise to recommit myself to regular posting.  Even with the impending busy-ness of final exams, it feels good to write just this little bit here.  I am doing what I need to do.

Until tomorrow...

Thoughts On Time

Time, invisible

Yet touching everything.

It leaves a deep scar.

KEB 10-07-15

Jumping Back In!

The calendar says that fall will be here in two days, but for my creative self, it is spring that is dawning after a five month dormant season here.   Unlike the plants and animals who know that they need fall and winter to rest and rejuvenate, I was unaware that my spirit was longing for that time.  I have been doing other creative things, including other types of writing, but in the past few weeks, I have been hit hard with the realization that I truly miss this forum, my blog.  Yes, I have missed deeply the writing, but perhaps more importantly, I have felt strongly the absence of the daily thoughts, reflection, and wondering that were the spark for my my daily posts.

Several things have happened that, taken together, have spurred me on to begin again here.  First, people who were faithful readers have asked why I stopped posting and where I had gone.  They were even kind enough to say that the missed my offerings.  I am flattered, though honestly  I never thought anyone would really read what I write here; I started blogging as a personal discipline, as a means of accountability to no one but myself.  If others find a reason to smile, or cry, or experience a little piece of joy, or find a bit of insight in my musings, I consider those are an added bonus.

For many years, I have been a faithful follower of Julia Cameron and her daily discipline of writing morning pages.  It is through this practice, that I rediscovered my need to reinstitute writing regular blog posts.  Since going back to school a few weeks ago, I have also added to this morning routine a poem in haiku form.  I say in haiku form because in the traditional Japanese haiku, this seventeen syllable form contains a kigo,  a seasonal word drawn from a defined list of words.  The poems that I have written usually contain no such word, but do follow the 5-7-5 syllabic structure of the lines as well as the use of a “ exiting word.”

Here are a couple of these poems:

Uninvited thoughts
Coming and going freely.
Through my mind, they dance.   - KEB 9/14/15

Thoughts of things undone
Fester, surface, call to me.
Your attention, please!        - KEB 9/16/15

Imagination.
Tool of possibility
Or disappointment?   - KEB 9/21/15

As I reflected on my own words, I sensed a theme, one that was calling me to pay attention and to take action, a strong yearning to write….here   And so I begin again.  Even after all this time away, this is a comfortable place for me.  Writing this post is kind of like a much anticipated homecoming.

Oh, and today's Capture Your 365 photo prompt is "jumping."  Yes, the prompt was intended in the literal sense, but most often, I am not a literal person, so this post is my idea of jumping today.  Now to figure out how to photograph this.

One of the reasons that I have neglected my blog is because I have been writing in other places, new places.  That is not an excuse; it is simply to say that I have not done a very good job at time management and prioritizing.  I will continue to write in those other places as well as here.  And sometimes, it may be necessary for me to “kill two birds with one stone” and share the same material in two places.  

One of those new writing adventures is another blog that I am writing with a dear photography friend.  As is evidenced by its title, our focus is on friendship, photography and food.  If you are interested, it is here:

www.pixelsplatesandlols.blogspot.com

Also, Weber and I help our blue and orange furry monster, Blueper B, write about his adventures on his blog as well:

www.blueperbblueprints.blogspot.com

Neither of these other forums takes the place of the kind of posts that I have written here in the past and intend to share again, but those other endeavors do take time and energy, commodities which seem severely lacking in my world some days!

If you are still here and reading what I have written, thank you.  I am grateful for your presence on this journey.  As I did previously, I will continue to share my photographs and my daily thoughts.  I don’t promise that they will be worthy of your time and attention, but I do promise that I will do my best to share with honesty, integrity, and a little humor.

Thank you for stopping by!

54/365-2 Crowded Around

"Dare To Be Different!"

Today was a busy day with not much time to think about what to photograph.  Considering that, I do like the way this came out, but I have to say that I think that it has more to do with luck than skill.

I particularly like this quote.  It is one that has taken me a lifetime to embrace; I am almost there.  

On a different note regarding "being different,"  I wish that my schedule was different so that I had more time to write blog posts.  I love posting pictures every day and it does keep me thinking and posting regularly; however, I miss writing "real" posts, posts that actually have some substance, that have a beginning, middle and end, that made me think and hopefully will do the same for you..  Maybe someday... 

For now I'll have to be content with my life documented in pictures rather than words.  I hope that there is some truth to the saying "a picture is worth a thousand words."

Contracting Friendship

Time flies when you're having fun, at least that is what "they" (whoever "they" is) say.  The reality here is that time flies whether you are having fun or not.  I have had a crazy start to the school year - lots of little things that have kept me just enough off-balance that writing here has not happened.  I have written a little for other things and I want to share that here.

Earlier in the summer I came across an essay contest that asked the question, "Who are you most surprised to be friends with?"  Finding an appropriate subject was not the difficult part; limiting the essay to no more than 300 words was however quite challenging for me.  I wrote and edited and wrote and edited.  Once I had something that I thought made me happy, I had several of my closest friends (the ones that I did not write about in the essay) read it and offer constructive criticism.  I made some changes and then submitted it.

My entry did not make it into the group of finalists.  That's OK.  I enjoyed telling my story and just entering was a positive step for me.  I could not publish it any place else until the contest finalists had been announced.  Since that has now happened, here is my story about a surprising friendship.

CONTRACTING FRIENDSHIP

A year ago my husband and I were married – “take two” for both of us.  The biggest decision facing us as we planned for our life together was where to live.  The choices were my country house, requiring a hundred mile a day commute, or his city house, much nearer to work for both of us but holding unhappy memories and needing considerable updating.

The economy made the decision.  With gas prices,

commuting was a poor option for us and the environment.

We searched newspapers, considered fliers taped to the front door, and checked bulletin boards at home improvement stores for a contractor. Nothing felt “right.”  Then a friend suggested Paul.

Paul carefully listened as we explained that we needed him to make the house “different” enough to ease my husband’s ill feelings and restore the happy memories from his childhood. This was the house in which he grew up.  Paul said, “I can do it.” Work began.

The morning after our wedding we received an email from Paul that said, “Congratulations and thank you for letting me take part in creating your new home.”  We were deeply touched and knew we had definitely chosen the perfect contractor.

During this time Paul was caring for his aging mother and his only sibling, who was fighting a losing battle with cancer.  Each day we checked on the house and Paul’s brother.  On a September evening I suddenly felt a nudge to check my email.  “Marc is gone.” read Paul’s words sent only moments before.  This is not the kind of thing that happens between contractors and clients, but between friends.

Through our remodeling experience we have grieved together, healed together, reminisced together, laughed together (often about pink paint and glow in the dark stars) and grown together into true friends.

New Look, Same "Stuff"

I started this blog on December 27, 2006, a day before my 45th birthday.  If you do the math, on December 28th of this year All In A Day will be five years old and I will be fifty.  What better way to celebrate both of those monumental anniversaries than to give my blog a makeover.  So, why did I do it today, July 23rd?  The simplest answer is because I could.  It is too hot here to do anything outside.  Even getting in the car and going someplace that is air conditioned does not have much appeal. I could think of no better  way to spend a hundred plus degree Saturday afternoon than wasting time working on the computer.

Nothing has changed here except the look.  For good or for ill the content will remain the same.  I wish I could tell you more specifically what that means but I really can’t.  Someone asked me the other day what I write about on my blog.  My response, “Stuff.”  Makes me sound real smart, huh?  I thought for a moment and elaborated by telling her that I write about things I find interesting, funny, sad, scary, intriguing, stupid, edifying, exciting, joyful and worthy of sharing.  If you are reading this, hopefully you agree and this is why you are here.

Thanks for being here!

KEB

Top 10 Excuses . . .I mean Reasons

TOP 10 REASONS WHY I HAVE NOT BEEN BLOGGING

10. The endless opportunities for TV watching on Dish network have consumed all my free time.

9. My computer was overtaken by our Alaskan neighbors and everything appeared in the Cyrillic alphabet.

8. All my fingers were broken while playing in the beach volleyball world championship, thus making it impossible to type.

7. I was on an archaeological dig looking for signs of a lost civilization.

6. I've been busy writing the next great American symphony.
5. Reading every entry in Wikipedia so that I can be the next Ken Jennings has taken longer than I expected.

4. They don’t allow “personal” computers at the convent.

3. The dog ate my computer.

2. I’m just plain lazy.

1 The amusement park caliber roller coaster of emotions over the past six months has been too difficult to articulate well.

TOP TEN REASONS WHY I WILL BE BLOGGING REGULARLY NOW

10. I have spent all these months searching Dish network for something edifying to watch and have come up empty handed. I suspect that this is because TV is a vast wasteland though I suppose that possibly it is because I have no idea which remote does what around here.

9. Offspring No. 1 has been home for the week, the offspring that is studying Russian. She informed me that no deep dark secrets, other than my waist size and that Cheez Whiz is the secret ingredient in my broccoli and rice casserole, were leaked while my computer was occupied by the northern visitors.

8. My beach volleyball career is over because like with most successes it all comes down to looks. The casts and the bikini just didn’t cut it. And I thought the hot pink casts would be a distraction.

7. Offspring No. 2’s room has been completely excavated. This scientific endeavor was successful: there are now signs of civilized beings, ones that recognize the merits of trash cans, dresser drawers and even hangers.

6. Well, I would like to write the next great American symphony. Instead I helped a student with a composition that did win a National award and I have added personalized ring tones to my iPhone. (Just think of all those doodles on cocktail napkins my now great artists.)

5. I do find Wikipedia to be a fascinating odyssey for the mind but I am taking a break until school starts again. Admitting the problem is the first step.

4. I really did consider a life in the convent. Seriously. I did, for a long time. There will be more on this in a later post.

3. The dog did not eat my computer. She has eaten nearly every pen, pencil and marker I have, but not my computer. The good thing is that I have finally gotten to a point where I no longer hand-write everything I do first.

2. I have been busy. Like I said in an earlier post, my teaching schedule last semester was very heavy. I am now settling into the summer routine, one that does not involve getting up at 5:15 am every day and grading papers well until midnight or later, and have realized that I really do miss blogging regularly. The occasional threats from those of you who actually read what I write and have told me that you miss reading are a great incentive as well.

1. And eventually I wander around to the truth. Life has been a roller coaster of emotions. For the most part they have been good emotions but still hard to get a handle on, especially in a way that I feel confident sharing them with the whole world. Many people have asked about the stories from Assisi that I spoke of in my last point. During the three months that have passed since that trip, I have processed many of the wonderful and mystical experiences and am excited to share them with you.


Talk to you tomorrow!

Leap of Faith

The bookstores are filled with stories of those who in times of personal strife suffer a crisis of faith. I must admit that I have never been fond of such stories. My idealistic self has always thought that in our darkest hours faith was the only thread that would hold things together, that when humanity fails us, God’s love will prevail. My suspicions and hopes have been proven true in the last few months. Life has been on the chaotic side. And though I did not lose my faith (actually it is stronger than ever), I did lose my ability and my confidence in writing. Even when I journaled more regularly with pencil and paper, great voids existed in my writing during difficult times. I think this is because I don’t like whining, though I suppose it could be construed as some kind of denial. I’m not sure. Whatever the root cause of my lack of oneness with words, this accounts for the deep silence that has fallen over this space since October.

Much has happened. Though all of the details are not necessary here, I do wish to share how faith can sustain when nothing else seems to have that ability.

The most significant thing that has happened is that I filed for divorce. That in itself was a leap of faith. When I made this decision, it was not as much a selfish act as it was an act of love and compassion. Though I freely admit that neither Mike or I was truly happy, I believe that he bore a much heavier burden because of that than I did. The act of faith that I took by being the one to actually file for divorce comes my heartfelt belief that that truly was the best thing for both of us emotionally and spiritually and further faith that though I do not have a full time job, I will be OK in terms of the necessities in life. In terms of the comforts of life, I have been blessed. We have a wonderful home and I have wanted for very little in the material world. By going forward with the divorce, I ran the risk of “cutting off my nose to spite my face.” After much prayer, I believed that filing for divorce was indeed what I needed to do. I was not wrong.

The process has been painless and, in many ways, life-giving. The level of honest communication that Mike and I have had with one another has been better in the last few months than it has been in years. We are still happily cohabiting and on the surface, life has not changed much. Internally, however, much is different . . .in a good way.
We have both reached a point where we are ready to move forward . . .independently and in whatever form our new relationship will take. I fully support him in his journey forward and he has given me that same support.

I have also been blessed by a new relationship. Allowing myself to become close to another person at this point in my life was also a leap of faith. I was unsure of my ability to love and be loved. And, for both of us, the timing of us falling in love was, to quote a professional friend of ours, “sucky.” Again to pursue this relationship was truly a leap of faith. There have been moments where it has felt like a leap of stupidity, but these times are brief. God’s hand always reaches down and holds us up when we are discouraged or have fallen.

Many things have happened, some good and some very painful, over the last few months. All of them have been necessary elements to this journey called life. I would be lying if I said that I have enjoyed or been happy with all that has happened. I have not. In fact, I’m sure there have been more tears of despair shed than those of joy. However, even when I have felt like I am drowning in those tears of sorrow, I have never doubted God’s presence. That unconditional love that we all long for has not escaped me. This is the greatest gift that I can imagine.

So we are five days into this new year. Though I know that some tough times are still before me, I feel that I am ready and able to move forward. I’m not sure what the future holds, but I know that whatever I meet on my path I can handle with God’s help.

My prayer for all of us is a life of peace, joy, and happiness in 2009.

Keep Those Cards, Letters, And Questions Coming

Thank you to those of you who are humoring me by playing along with my 20 Questions, really it is 10 Questions, game. I am enjoying reading the real things that Inquiring minds want to know. Ideas about how to best address the these burning inquiries are bouncing about in my feeble little brain. So too are the appropriate gifts to acknowledge my favorite questions. It is not too late to join the fun. There are still seven days left. The first installment of answers will be posted on Monday January 7th.

More later . . .

Another Year

It has been exactly a year since I published my first post on this blog. It's title was, "Are Bloggers Egocentric?" I concluded then that "they" (now I must say "we") probably are. Truthfully, aren't we all? It really only comes down to how we each manifest this characteristic. I do it here. Over the year I have written 152 posts, two more than the psalmists and two less than the number of sonnets of Shakespeare. I am comparing only numbers here, not quality!

I know that there are a few of you out there who actually read what I write. I hope that every now and then I say something that speaks to you in a meaningful way. If not, I hope that you are at least entertained, that you smile occasionally. Truthfully, I will continue to write even if no one reads a single word posted here. Thus speaks my ego. However, I would like to attempt to create something that others can stand to read. So as I begin my second year as a blogger, I would like to incorporate a little interactive fun. Here is the deal:

Around my house, the holiday season officially ends on January 6th, the Feast of the Epiphany, the day Brooke goes back to school and Mike returns to work. Between now and then, I would like those of you who read what I write here to send me questions that you would like me to answer. You can either post them in the comments section or send me an email. I will answer all the questions over the next few weeks. As far as the type of question, anything goes. Yes, anything. You may send one question a day; that means the possibility of ten questions per person. They may be serious or off the wall. The choice is yours. Start thinking.
Here is one posed by my 15 year old daughter. "What happens when someone who has a pierced nose with no ring in it at the time blows their nose?" As I said, ANYTHING GOES!

The good news for those of you who play along with me is that there are prizes. I promise they will be good prizes! I'm sure you are wondering how the prize winners will be determined.

The winners will be chosen as follows:
Those who submit the question or questions that I like best will be the winners. Isn't that simple? No fine print. No rules to follow. Just send your questions and hope that I am amused. Oops. There is that ego thing again.

In other blog news, today is my birthday so I had to change my profile for the first time.

The Night Before Christmas

Thank goodness for the Internet! Had I not been able to shop via the Internet in the middle of the night, the presents around here would be virtually (no pun intended) non-existent. I am happy to say that all that I ordered arrived safely with no problems. My successful on-line shopping experiences made me realize just how powerful the Internet truly is. This is both comforting and scary. For all the good that can be done on the Web, I know that there is probably an equal amount of ill that can also be done. I am going to stick my head in the sand and ignore that possibility for the moment.

I was trying to think of a "gift" that I could share with all of you that read my musings regularly. Here I must give the gift via the Internet rather than simply shop for it in that manner.. I remembered a piece that I wrote with a few friends ten years ago. I will confess up front that this favors my knitting buddies but hopefully the rest of you will smile a little as you read as well. I hoped that I could still find it somewhere on my computer. I typed the title on the search line. Because I was not paying attention, I actually typed it into Google. Imagine my surprise when it returned several hits. I thought that someone else must have written something with the same title. As you will see, the title itself is not terribly creative. Because I had nothing else to do at midnight, I started following the links. All of them contained the words that we had written. Many of the sites that I found were blog entries that contained many comments. I read those too. "hilarious!", "Wonderful!", "How creative.", "This made me laugh." Interestingly, all of the sites listed the author as the famous Unknown. For this, I guess I am thankful. I suppose it is better that there is no attribute than that is credited wrongly.

We originally wrote this as part of a presentation for a Christmas program for the Dallas Handknitters Guild back in 1997, I think. My friends Betty Kay Seibt, Phyllis Eccleston and I were given the task of entertaining a room full of frantic knitters who were trying to finish all of their handmade Christmas gifts. The piece we wrote was a small part of our overall program. After this guild meeting, it was published in the guild newsletter. From there, someone (not any of us) must have posted it on the Web. It was at this point that A Knitter's Night Before Christmas began its ten year journey in cyberspace.

I am happy that these words have brought smiles to the faces of many knitters over the years. And, I hope that it, like the original from which it is parodied, will become a story read each Christmas Eve. I offer it to all of you now.


A Knitter’s Night Before Christmas

By Kris Elliott, Betty Kay Seibt, and Phyllis Eccleston
for the Dallas Handknitters Guild Christmas Program December 1997

‘Twas the night before Christmas and all around me
Was unfinished knitting not under the tree.
The stockings weren’t hung by the chimney with care.
‘Cause the heels and the toes had not a stitch there.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds.
But I had not finished the caps for their heads.
Dad was asleep; he was no help at all.
And the sweater for him was six inches too small.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
I put down my needles to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tripped over my yarn and fell down with a crash.
The tangle of yarn that lay deep as the snow
Reminded me how much I still had to go.
Out on my lawn I heard such a noise.
I thought it would wake both Dad and the boys.
And though I was tired, my brain a bit thick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
But what I heard then left me perplex-ed,
For not a name that I heard was what I expected,
"Move, Ashford! Move, Lopi! Move, Addi and Clover!
Move, Reynolds! Move Starmore! Move, Froelich--move over!
Paton, don’t circle ‘round; stand in the line.
Come now, you sheep will work out just fine!
I know this is hard; it’s just your first year,
I’d hate to go back to eight tiny reindeer."
I peered over the sill; what I saw was amazing,
Eight woolly sheep on my lawn all a-grazing.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard at the door
Santa’s feet coming across the porch floor.
I rose from my knees and got back on my feet,
And as I turned ‘round St. Nick I did meet.
He was dressed all in wool from his head to his toe.
And his clothes were handknit from above to below.
A bright Fairisle sweater he wore on his back.
And his toys were all stuffed in an Aran knit sack.
His cap was a wonder of bobbles and lace
A beautiful frame for his rosy red face.
The scarf ‘round his neck could have stretched for a mile,
And the socks peeking over his boots were Argyle.
The back of his mittens bore an intricate cable.
And suddenly on one I espied a small label.
"S. C." was duplicate stitched on the cuff,
And I asked, "Hey, Nick, did you knit all this stuff?"
He proudly replied, "Ho, ho, ho, yes I did.
I learned how to knit when I was a kid."
He was chubby and plump, a quite well-dressed old man.
And I laughed to myself, for I’d thought up a plan.
I flashed him a grin and jumped up in the air,And the next thing he knew, he was tied to a chair.
He spoke not a word, but looked in his lap
Where I’d laid my needles and yarn for a cap.
He quickly began knitting, first one cap then two,
For the first time I thought I might really get through.
He put heels in the stockings and toes in some socks.
While I sat back and drank scotch on the rocks.
So quickly like magic his needles they flew
That he was all finished by quarter to two.
He sprang for his sleigh when I let him go free,
And over his shoulder he looked back at me,
And I heard him exclaim as he sailed past the moon,
"Next year start your knitting sometime around June!"


I would like to ask a favor. Should you ever run across this again, tell all that you know that the author is not Unknown. You know at least one of us!

Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.