Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Fortuities and Nuptials

mentioned back at that end of May that I have been reading Milan Kundera’s Te Unbearable Likeness of Being.  I have not finished the book yet.  This is not because the book is not good or that I am not enjoying it but because I have way too many things that I want to be doing and not enough time to do them all.  I will finish it before I have to renew it at the library again.  The point here is not whether or not I have completed the book, but ratherthis:
The following is a passage from the early pages of The Unbearable Likeness of Being . . .
"...is not an event in fact more significant and noteworthy the greater the number of futurities necessary to bring it about?
Chance and chance alone has a message for us.  Everything that occurs out of necessity, everything expected, repeated day in and day out, is mute.  Only chance can speak to us.  We read its message much as gypsies read the images made by coffee grounds at the bottom of a cup.”
As I ponder this passage on our second wedding anniversary, I find myself considering all of the fortuities that have brought Weber and me together.
  • My parents conceived a child despite the fact that my dad was in the Navy and spent much time away from home.
  • Weber’s parents conceived a child despite the fact that they had been told that they could not have children and his mother was 40 when he was born.
  • I came to North Texas planning to be here for two years, long enough to get my Masters Degree.  Nearly twenty five years later, I was still here.
  • Weber’s parents bought a house in Farmers Branch in 1964.  After their deaths in 1980, Weber did not sell the house and move somewhere else.
  • I got a job teaching at Brookhaven College in Farmers Branch in 1992.  
  • I love my job and have stayed all this time.
  • Weber became a teacher and after a few years began teaching middle school in Farmers Branch.
  • I learned to knit.
  • Through knitting I met Weber’s ex-wife.
  • Through Weber’s ex-wife, I met him.
  • I went to an Episcopal church that, at the time, offered Tai Chi and Zen meditation.
  • His ex-wife was interested in Tai Chi - but as it turned out not interested enough to actually go.
  • Weber was interested enough to attend both Tai Chi and Zen.  
  • He then began to attend church on Sunday mornings.
  • Weber decided to be confirmed in the Episcopal Church.
  • At the last minute, his sponsor could not be there for him at Confirmation.  His then-wife suggested to him that he ask me to be his sponsor.
  • Something still unexplainable, something that left us both with tears streaming down our cheeks, happened that morning during his Confirmation.  
  • His ex-wife was an Agnostic.  She did not attend church on Sunday mornings.  This became a problem for them.
  • He shared his concern about this issue straining their relationship.
  • I shared with him that Mike was gay.
  • Weber eventually filed for divorce.
  • I eventually filed for divorce.
  • I was going to become a nun.
  • For different reasons, we both endured a simultaneous few months of hell.
  • I had a terrible experience at the hands of a mutual friend.  Another friend called Weber to literally come rescue me.
  • He did.
  • We both were brave enough to share our feelings for one another at this point.
  • Mike was supportive of our new relationship.
  • Mike got Weber and me tickets to travel to Assisi together.
  • Weber’s divorce was final.
  • We had an amazing spiritual experience in the Church of Saint Clare in Assisi.  (Read about it here.)
  • I was not going to be a nun anymore.
  • My divorce was final.
  • We became engaged.
  • We got permission from the Bishop to be married in the church a month shy of the required year wait after a divorce.
  • We were married two years ago today surrounded by our family and friends.
Who knew back then 

that all of this was in preparation for this day, July 10, 2010,

and the life that we now have together as husband and wife.

The chapter from The Unbearable Likeness of Being with which I began this post concludes with:
"Necessity knows no magic formulae--they are all left to chance.  If a love is to be unforgettable, fortuities must immediately start fluttering down to it like birds to Francis of Assisi’s shoulder."
Did I mention that we are both tertiaries in the Society of St. Francis and that many of those who shared our wedding day with us were our Franciscan brothers and sisters?
If all of this is not enough to convince us that chance, the stars and God are on our side, this was in the paper this morning.

Visual Cents No. 57

"For Erin"