Thursday, March 1, 2007

Knit One, Tattoo

Yesterday afternoon several of us were sitting around the knit shop. The afternoon class had ended and there was very little customer traffic, In walked the postman - a postman with not much personality. On the surface, the mail he brought was equally dull. The most interesting piece of correspondence was the Oriental Trading Company catalog full of that printable crap to help advertise your business. I hate to admit that we had WAY too much fun perusing its pages.

Here are some of the products we suggest:
1. Shot Glasses - for those of you who want to make the Cables After Whiskey sweater. Or, those who unintentionally made a sweater that resembles drunken cables and thus need to drown your sorrows.

2. Canvas Bags (minimum order 1000) This should be enough to store almost all of your "works in progress".

3. Giggle Sticks You remember these. They are those plastic tubes that when you shake them, they laugh maniacally. Every knitter needs one for those late nights when you are knitting those last few rows before going to bed and make one of those idiotic mistakes that would make your friends laugh until they cry. Pick up your giggle stick, shake it a few times and consider yourself humiliated. No need to bother your friends in the morning.

3. Personalized Pencils These can be stamped with inspirational messages such as: How am I supposed to know what row you are on?, Is this really six inches?, or, Don't forget, socks come in pairs!

4. Temporary Tattoos Don't you think that every knitter should display their allegiance to the craft by affixing a temporary tattoo to an appropriate part of their anatomy? Maybe the strategic placement of one that says NO POOLING HERE. What image best represents your fondness for knitting? The more important question is where will you put your tattoo?

Once we are all inked, Vogue Knitting should publish the "Tattoo Edition" displaying the "natural fiber" of knitters. It could happen! Choose your design now.

I laughed a lot yesterday while we were being silly. What a wonderful feeling. All In A day . . .

FYI If you can't wait for an order from Oriental Trading Company, Sharpies work great for applying body art.