Monday, March 5, 2007

I Got That Helium Feeling

It is not often that I have the "helium feeling". The helium feeling is when I feel like a balloon that has just been released, not escaped but released, from someone's hand and am free to float wherever the metaphorical wind happens to carry me. Translation: there is nothing that has to be done right now. Oh, I have a TO DO List, but none of the deadlines are tomorrow. Better yet, none of them were yesterday. This may sound like a strange feeling to be excited about but it is so rare that I do not have some task looming overhead. I am not sure why I find myself always working deadline to deadline. For the most part, I am not a procrastinator. Writing is the only thing that I feel that I do best under pressure. Don't ask me why. Maybe my muse masquerades as pressure.

So, what shall I do? I can read. I can knit. I can surf the web. I can play games. I can stare aimlessly in to space. I can play with the dogs. It really doesn't matter what I do. The point is that I can do whatever I want to right now. I do not have too many evenings like this. I guess that is why I am struck by this feeling. Here I sit writing about it rather than doing something with my free time. Oh, maybe this is what I want to be doing. It is always eyeopening to me to watch how I spend my time. If I can look at myself as if I am a spectator in my own life, I learn much about who I am. Right now, I feel like if my whole life were spent with the helium feeling, I would write more and hopefully much better! But, on most days, I am not the helium balloon; I am the balloon who has popped and left pieces strewn across the path. That's OK too. There are lessons to be learned in whatever state I happen to find myself.

POP! The soccer uniforms have to be washed right now for games tomorrow night. One should not have too much of a good thing. Wait! There is that cliche thing again - possibly misstated. Maybe that makes it an original thought.
Hmmm . . .And, how do we know if a clam is happy? Does a clam get that helium feeling?