Another End

Today was the final class day of this semester. By this time next week, final exams will be over and another academic year will have come to an end.  I will have completed year twenty-five in the same teaching position.

The music theory sequence is a minimum of four semesters of paired courses; it can be five if a student comes in needing to make up a deficiency.  Of those five courses, I teach four of them, all but the first (or second).  So by the time I have had the same students for three consecutive semesters in two courses each semester, I know them well, and I have a genuine interest in their lives beyond my classes.  Of those completing the sequence this semester, some have auditioned at four year universities and are excited to take the next step in their education, some are experiencing disappointment because they were not accepted to the school of their choice, and some are questioning whether or not they want to continue on in music or choose another career path.  Whatever the case, it has been my job and my privilege to serve each one of them - to teach them, guide them, and support them along the way as they prepare for whatever their next step may be.

I am grateful that I teach so many courses in this sequence.  Although I am bidding farewell to my class of music theory IV students, I will see those students who have been in Music Theory II and III again next fall.  Knowing that I have a group of returning students makes it a little easier to say goodbye to those who are moving on.

Another consolation is that those students who left last spring have completed their first year in a four year institution.  They are now coming back or sending emails sharing their successes and excitement surrounding their academic achievements.  That students take the time to stop by or write an email sharing with me how they are doing lets me know that they were aware of my genuine care and concern for them while they were in my classes.  In case you are wondering...yes, there are some that I never hear from again once they hand me the final exam.  With a very few, that's OK. I wish them well, but that's it.

I will spend my weekend writing final exams and finalizing grades, enduring the stress that the end of every semester brings.  Next Thursday night I will play for commencement.  And Friday, summer vacation begins.  Just as the semesters seem to fly by, so will the summer.  Before I know it, August will be here and my year twenty-six will begin.  A whole new group of students will come and I will have the opportunity to get to know them, perhaps touch their lives in a meaningful way, and then send them on as well.  The cycle of the academic life.

Time Passages

Yesterday marked the year anniversary of my dad's death.  In many ways it feels like just last week rather than last year, making me painfully aware of just how quickly time flies.  When I look back at my posts here as well as my own journaling, I realize that time really is the overarching theme in my life right now, with the majority of my thoughts being about how I spend what time I have.

I am definitely one of those people that lives up to the rule of the more one has to do, the more one gets done.  My personal dilemmas come when considering the list of things that I "have" to get done.  I spend an enormous amount of time on prepping for teaching my classes.  You would think after doing this for thirty years that I would not have to spend much time preparing, but each class is different and requires different things from me.  And, I'd get terribly bored doing the same things over and over again year after year.  Although, if I did that, it may make it feel like time wasn't passing so quickly!  Hmmm...

For the first time,  I am starting to think about what it might be like to retire, not because I don't like what I'm doing, but because there are so many other things that I would like to do and simply don't have the time.  As it is, I function on minimal sleep, which I know is not good for me.  Short of more hours in the day, I just can't do it all.  Then I have to start making choices regarding which of the things I want to do can get done and which ones can''t.  I don't like making these kinds of choices!  As Weber will tell you, it frustrates me and makes me really grouchy.

I trust that the solution to my time issues will come with much serious soul searching.  Everything will be as it should be when it should be.  Hopefully this will happen while I still have time for all the things that at this moment are simmering on the back burner to actually come to a full boil.

Recently, I did take one step toward doing something that I have wanted to do for a long, long time and have kept putting off because of...TIME!

Ever since I took the first semester of music history some thirty five years ago I have been passionately in love with the music of the Renaissance.  Sadly, the clarinet repertoire does not contain any such music:-)  All through graduate school I played recorders and crumhorns in a Renaissance consort and loved every minute of it.  Back then, I had this unrealistic dream of someday learning to play the lute.  That certainly wasn't going to happen while I was getting my theory degrees, or raising two kids, or teaching, or...and the list of reasons goes on as has time.  A few years ago I started thinking that learning to play the classical guitar was a more reasonable and perfectly acceptable alternative to learning to play the lute.  Mostly that thought swam far below the surface of my everyday thoughts, bobbing its head above water only every now and then...until a few weeks ago when it started to do the survival float.  It was right there on the surface all the time.  I have learned never to ignore this kind of nagging thought.  I did some research and ordered a guitar.  It came in on Friday.

I am excited to learn how to play, but I think the important lesson for me here is to return to that state of being a beginner, taking everything slowly and carefully and appreciating every little accomplishment no matter how small.  No longer does everything I do need to be about perfection or even being "good enough."  It is about pursuing lifelong dreams before it is too late.

I have no desire to be a great guitar player.  My goal is to simply be a happy person.

Peacefully playing

One at a time, a few notes.

Harmony will come.

KEB 10/17/15

Fall

Wednesdays are long days.  The best I have to offer is my daily haiku...

The season changes

 Year's perfect end approaching.

Where is the weather?

...and today's photo taken very late tonight.  The prompt was "rushing."  I rushed to get a photo taken while trying to get several others things done.

28/365-3 Play

"Work and Play"

I am fortunate that work means making music!

8/365-3 My Gear

"The Write Stuff"

By education and profession I am a musician (clarinetist and professor of music theory and composition). And obviously photography is a much loved hobby. But it is really the pencil that is the most important piece of gear I own. I use it to write music, to make performance markings, to take notes of all kinds, to journal, to underline important things in photography books and manuals. That pencil is truly the key to my success in everything that I do. Yes, I am still a big fan of paper and pencil though I have and use all of the technological gadgets.

361/365-2 Ethereal

"The Dreamer"

309/365-2 Where I Stand

"Heading Home"

...after a long day at school and then choir rehearsal that night.

267/365-2 The Number 1

"Movement I"

I was so focused on the "I" as the movement number that I failed to see all of the other numbers - the tempo marking, measure numbers, number of rests...I did crop this square, which removed the Op. 36, almost.

138/365-2 A Vision of Hope

"Music for Hope"

Today was a busy day, but a "good" busy day.  It was one filled with friends, food, family, a little shopping and music.  What it was not filled with was time for today's photo.  In the few minutes that I was home in between shopping and leaving for the concert at church, I did think to put a generic lens on my camera and put it in my bag "just in case" there was something that would work for today's prompt.  When we walked in for the concert and were handed the program, I just chuckled at the subtitle across the top.  Voila!  There was my photo.  This is just proof positive that God is 100% with me on my CY 365 journey:-)

135/365-2 Relax

"Commencement"

Obviously I forgot to post this last night.

Commencement itself was not necessarily relaxing, but it signifies the end of the semester and the end of this school year, which means it also marks the beginning of a period of relaxation for me.  Yay!

Though I can't stand  Pomp and Circumstance because I have played it SO many times (and that was just last night, not all the many years previously),  I do enjoy playing for graduation.  It is a time for all of us in the music department to play side by side, faculty and students.

119/365-2 Buzz

"Sweet Music"

112/365-2 Barbed

"Barbed Beauty"

I have become a huge fan of my Lensbaby lenses.  Fan may be an understatement; addict may be a better term.  And, my husband is an enabler.  He ordered me the Edge 80 lens, ostensibly for Mother's Day.  It came last week and he gave it to me.  Sadly, I did not even take it out of the box until this afternoon.

I think the fact that I am a musician, and therefore understand too well the discipline of practice, is what is allowing me to be patient with the steep learning curve surrounding my ability to take decent pictures with these lenses.  

Today's picture taking can best be equated to playing scales.  I was concerned purely with technique.  Any sense of creativity or artistry is totally absent.  I wanted to to "play" with the lens, but I didn't have time to go in search of any real subjects.  (I actually took today's POTD a week ago.)  I was relegated to photographing whatever I could find out in the yard.  I did notice that our kind of pathetic looking rose bush is blooming.  It worked just fine as a subject for practice.

Compositionally, there is nothing spectacular about this image, but it does represent the learning process.  I need a lot more practice "playing scales" before moving on to "repertoire," but I'll get there.  At least photography can be practiced outside amidst God's beautiful creation.  There is nothing beautiful about the tiny practice rooms in most music buildings.  Just saying...

Happy Earth Day everyone!

15/365-2 In the Air

"Blowing In The Wind"

The recorder is a little more portable and much more forgiving when played outside than is the clarinet.   

The creative juices were not flowing today.  I went with outside in the air and in playing the sound is all "in the air."  A desperate attempt, but there you have it.

282/365 Practice

"Forty-seven Years of Practice"

268/365 Notes

"Notes, Notes and More Notes"

I like writing this kind of notes…not nearly as depressing as all of the notes that I have to write to myself so that I don't forget what I'm supposed to do, where I'm supposed to do it and who I'm supposed to do it with or for.

166/365 From the Side

'Close Your Eyes, Mom!"

I am definitely not skilled at applying make-up, especially the overdone make-up that is necessary when one is on stage under bright stage lights.  I had to enlist the girls as both consultants as to what to do and then have the do the application as well.  It took both of them working their magic to get it done.

Today's prompt's title is a little misleading.  Though it only says from the side, the additional instructions are for a self portrait from the side.  Yes, it is that time of the month again.  I have to admit that I actually did not take this photo; Erin took it with my camera.  Putting on my own make-up and taking my own picture were way more than I could handle today - or on most days, for that matter.  I'm glad the girls were around to help me with this.  We'll just consider it payback for all of those diapers that I changed!

Note: It is not that we were intentionally trying to keep Brooke out of the picture.  She had an allergic reaction to hair dye and because her scalp and face are broken out, she did not want to be in the picture.  I wanted at least some of her visible to put the photo in context.

158/365 Three of a Kind

"Hope, Peace and Love"

This is the bell tower at the Cathedral of Hope taken through a window from the Dallas Peace Chapel.  

On the first Friday of each month, I play for a Taize service at the Peace Chapel.  It is a beautiful space in which to play as well as to just be.  I love playing for this service; even though I have to pay close attention because of my responsibilities as a musician, I am always moved spiritually.  Tonight was our last Taize service until September 6th.  I am going to miss them during the summer!

136/365 Peaceful Moment/Relaxation

"The Rhythm of Relaxation"

A little music listened to through noise reduction headphones will almost always beat the day's stress out of me.

100/365 One Hundred

"One Hundred Cents"

I remember when the girls were little and they celebrated the 100th day of school by taking one hundred items to school to share with their classmates.  One hundred pennies, paperclips, M&Ms, stickers, erasers, and so on.  When it came time for me to come up 100 somethings for my own project, I had to think hard.  

Today became a music theorist's idea for 100.

Yes, I know that the piano has 88 keys, not 100.  In equal temperament (modern tuning) the distance between two tones on the piano is measured in cents.  The octave consists of 1200 cents.  Each half step is 100 cents.  So here you have a half step on the piano keyboard.

It is hard to believe that I have taken and posted a photo every day for the first one hundred days of 2013. 100 photos in 100 days seemed like such a daunting task when I set out last summer to take one photo a day for one hundred days.  To my surprise, I did manage to accomplish that.  When I completed My Visual Cents  I did feel as sense of accomplishment.  I also felt a void in my daily routine when I no longer was committed to such an undertaking.

I discovered the Capture Your 365  website right before I had taken my last pictures over the summer.  During the fall I thought hard about whether or not I could really sustain such a commitment for an entire year.  Come January 1, 2013, I decided that I could do it.  For the past 100 days I have taken a picture based on the given prompt.  Hopefully I can keep it up for another 265!

55/365 For The Love Of Music

"This Is Why We Sing"

Music has been a huge part of my life since I started taking piano lessons at age four.  (If you are calculating, that is 47 years.)  I am very fortunate to have a job teaching music theory.  Though there were so many ways that I could have approached this prompt, I knew immediately that my photo of the day would somehow include Resounding Harmony.  Singing with RH is, to me, what music is all about.  It is about sharing the power of music with my fellow singers in the chorus and as a chorus, sharing this passion with the community.  

As the lyrics to the song in this photo say, "Music builds a bridge, it tears down a wall.  Music is a language that speaks to one and all.  This is why we sing, why we lift our voice, why we stand as one in harmony . . ."