Overlook

So many acts are

Underappreciated.

Little things matter.

KEB 1/4/17

Today's photo prompt was overlook.  I could probably write pages here about all of the things that I have overlooked lately, but I have no time for that because I definitely have overlooked the fact until now that we will be out of town this weekend staffing a retreat and I had not packed a thing until 11 pm tonight.  So, no time to write.

That said, I will be gone until Sunday evening and Internet access is very limited.  If I fail to post here for the next couple of days, it is not an oversight!

Boxes and More Boxes

Boxes, more boxes

Of papers and photographs.

Flawed memories.

KEB 1/3/17

For a year and a half all of the boxes of "stuff" that I brought home from my dad's house have been sitting in our guest room.  Well sitting may be too kind a word.  Crammed is more appropriate.  It is fair to say that anyone who ventured into that room would have needed a golden clew, like that of Ariadne, to make their way out of the labyrinth of boxes.  I don't think there was a minotaur in the midst of our guest room, but I couldn't be absolutely sure of that!  The primary reason that these boxes have remained untouched for so long is that I wasn't sure where we were going to go with all of their contents.  The other reason is that I despise clutter, particularly paper clutter, which is what a large portion of the boxes' contents.  Photos of family, some of whom I could identify and lots of others that I couldn't, newspaper clippings, my mother's scrapbooks from her childhood through the birth of her grandchildren, marriage licenses, baptismal certificates, and various other records.  Let's just say that there was a forest worth of paper.  The prospect of going through it all was terribly overwhelming to me.  So I ignored for awhile.

Back in the spring Weber and I decided that we would build an addition on to our home to accomodate the few pieces of furniture that I kept, as well as give us much needed storage space, and an extra bathroom for my sloppy Offspring that lives with us.  We worked on bringing this plan to fruition for about six months.  The hold up was finding a concrete company willing to take "the small job" of our little slab.  Both our contractor and Weber made call after call and no one had the time or resources to give to what we needed.  I took that as a sign that perhaps an addition was not the right decision for us. Right before Christmas we gave up on the idea.  That meant that I now had to face the mounds of boxes.  No more procrastination.

The problem with sorting all of the things from Delaware was that I still needed somewhere to go with it all once I unpacked it.  This meant that I needed to clean out virtually every closet in our house in order to free up any and every free inch of usable storage space.  I started this "project" on my birthday.  Though I dreaded it, taking that first step was really a gift to myself, because once I start something, I will not stop until I finish.  So, for a week now, the contents of not only the guest room, but every closet in the house have been pulled out, culled, reboxed, and much of it relocated.  Our contractor kindly came over and added some extra shelves in a bedroom closet and also hung a few of the pieces of art that we brought back.  

This process has been going on for a week.  We are not done, but we have made an amzing amount of progress.  Many things have been given away or thrown away.  Fortunately, I am willing to get rid of things.  I don't need or want every family picture that was ever taken.  I saved a few, but I most certainly tossed more than I kept.  Items that are staying have been organized and neatly stored in bins.  And by some miracle, we found a place for all of those bins, none of which ended up in the attic.  One of my weird little quirks is that I don't believe in putting stuff in the attic.  First of all, in Texas, that is a certain death sentence.  Second of all, I cleared out the attic at my parents house.  Most things that go to an attic are never seen again until the next generation is faced with figuring out what to do with them.  I don't want my girls to have to deal with all of this crap.  I didn't want me to have to deal with it, but I have to and I am happy to say that I have!

We are not completely done, but we are WAY closer to that goal than we were this time last week.  A few more things need to be donated.  Some of Weber's family items need to be mailed to other family members who will appreciate them a little more.  There is still art to be hung,  some that first needs to be reframed, but the to-do list is much shorter and much more bearable than it was a few days ago.

I cleaned out the last closet today, the one that was full of all of my kniting supplies.  I was a bit ruthless, but that's OK; it was all my stuff.  I had more unfinished projects than I care to admit.  I threw them all away with the exception of two or three.  (Forget what I said above about not stopping until I finish something. Apparently that does not apply to knitting!)  In my head, storing a bunch of unfinished projects created a feeling that my organizing and cleaning project was also unfinished.  Discarding the "UFO's" meant that everything was tidy and ready for a fresh start.

While I was sorting my yarn into tubs, Piper decided that she would check out the yarn for her next sweater.  She is the best dressed pup around!

A huge and long enduring burden has been lifted because of the work we have done in the past week. Like I said, there is still more to accomplish, but I now believe that we can do it.

I must also thank a friend who is coming to visit next week for the final nudge that I needed to get this all done.  I really want to see her and for that to happen we have to have a place for her to sleep other than the couch or an air mattress on the floor in the den!

I have had my moments of frustration and despair during all of this, but they have been fleeting.  I think that I can honestly say that 2017 is off to a fantastic start!

One Little Word - Nourish

For body, mind, spirit

Growth, health, and good condition.

In one word, NOURISH.

KEB 1/2/16

For a second year, I am participating in Ali Edwards One Little Word project.  This project invites you to choose one word that you will work with throughout the year.  The word should be one that helps you grow personally and perhaps helps you to reach a goal or goals.  I attempted this project last year.  My word was Order.  Although I did make some progress in gaining order in my life, I did not follow through with the work of the project through the entire year.  I am trying again.  In considering this year's project, the word nourish came to me almost immediately.  Before committing to it however, I spent some serious time reflecting on other possibilities.  I entertained several other words, but I kept coming back to "nourish."  Yesterday, it officially became my One Little Word for 2017.

I did toggle back and forth for a bit between the words "nourish" and "nurture."  In my head these words mean two different things, but I could not make the distinction in a concrete way, so I turned to the dictionary.

Nurture  - Care for and protect (someone or something) while they are growing

Nourish  - Provide with the food or other substances necessary for growth, health, and good condition

Both words come from the Latin nutrire, meaning to feed.  (I'm glad there is a good reason for my inability to clearly differentiate the meaning of these two words.)  After reading these two definitions, I still had to spend some time cogitating before I could make an absolute distinction.  It didn't help that some dictionaries consider these nourish and nurture to be synonyms.  The conclusion to which I came is that, though both words are verbs and thus suggest action (and I knew my word had to be one that required action), nurture  implies a more general sense of caring for, while nourish demands figuring out exactly what kind of "food" is necessary to stimulate growth, health, good condition and then taking the next step...actually doing the feeding.  This year I want to find the best ways to nourish my body, mind, and spirit as to facilitate positive growth and health. 

I constantly struggle with nourishing my body in a healthy way.  I know what foods are good for it and which ones aren't, but I don't always make choices that reflect this knowledge.  Interestingly, its not even that I don't like foods that provide the best nourishment for my body; I do.  I am a big fan of fruits and vegetables and healthy grains.  One of the things that I will explore throughout the year is what really drives my choices in how I choose to nourish my body and what I can do to put a better decision maker in the driver's seat.

In nourishing my mind, I often get stuck in a pattern of "eating" the same thing day in and day out because it is convenient.  I get my news from the same sources every day.  I read the same magazines.  I read the same authors.  I do vary things in my teaching from semester to semester.  Perhaps my biggest problem with feeding my mind in that I don't feed it regularly.  I alternate between "binge eating" and starvation.  I suspect that the mind, just like the body, benefits from regular "meals."  I need to figure out both a healthy feeding schedule and menu for my mind.

Unlike my mind that binges and then starves itself, my spirit is constantly grazing, always chewing on something.  But like my body, what my spirit sometimes chooses to gnaw on is not necessarily a healthy choice for me.  And often, it is not even conscious of what it has "eaten."  So here too, I will use this year to figure out how to nourish my spirit with intention.

I do know that to nourish my whole self, I need first to figure out how to balance the care and feeding, nurturing and nourishing, of my body, mind, and spirit individually.  Attaining health and positive growth in all three means figuring out the right ingredients for each that will also combine to create a healthy recipe overall...kind of like a chocolate meringue pie.  With the pie you need a crust, chocolate filling, and the meringue.  If any one of those three parts is lacking, the entire pie will be lacking.  And so it goes with body mind and spirit.

And so in this first month of 2017, I am beginning the process of figuring out how to successfully nourish my whole self in such a way that my body, mind, and spirit receive adequate and healthy sustenance so that I reach the end of the year in "good condition."

No New Year's Resolutions

I don't make New Year's resolutions.  Instead, I prefer to think that I am setting new goals for myself in the coming year.  What's the difference?  A resolution is "a firm decision to do or not do something."  A goal is "the object of a person's ambition or effort, an aim or desired result."  I think my issue with resolution comes in the word firm.  That makes the idea of keeping to resolution sound so strict, so harsh, so inflexible.  To do or not do something is binary.  It's black and white.  By profession, I am a music theorist.  My nature as a theorist is to live in the gray areas of music.  Actually, I like the gray area of most things.  Its the place where I can look at something from multiple perspectives, see possibilities, make not so obvious connections.  Perhaps the bottom line with my attitudes toward making and keeping a New Year's resolution is that there is no creativity involved in the process.  Again, either you keep the resolution and are "successful."  Or, you don't keep the resolution and you have failed.  There has to be something between failure and success when it comes to New Year's resolutions!

Goals, on the other hand, don't feel so rigid.  It seems to me like in setting a goal, I am tasked with deciding what is important to me and figuring out what I can do to work toward reaching a desired result.  The path to that desired goal may not be obvious at the outset.   Reaching a goal requires constant and creative engagement from me through the entire process of working toward that end.  If I feel like I am not making progress, I have the freedom to re-evaluate both my process and the goal itself.  Flexibility.  Gray area.  Creativity.  That is the difference to me.  I need goals.

I have set a few goals for myself for 2017.

• To be more intentional with how I spend my time.
• To write regularly.
• To knit more than in 2016.

That's all.

I may need to amend or change my goals as the year progresses, but for now, this is where I am.

As part of my goal to knit more, I accepted a challenge from a friend to knit a Temperature Blanket this year.  With this project, temperature ranges are assigned a specific color of yarn.  Each day, you knit one row of the color that corresponds to the daily high temperature in your area.  I definitely did not knit even one row a day in 2016, so, if I persevere with this project, I will meet my goal of knitting more in 2017 than in 2016.

1/365 - Fresh Start

As digits change

The year's colors appear

One day at a time.

KEB 1/1/17

A Whirlwind Week

The past week seems to have flown by!  Last weekend we were in Baltimore because I had a NOAH board meeting.  Though it was a quick trip and I had little free time, I enjoyed the getaway and change of scenery.  Weber and I did have a bit of time to wander around Baltimore's Inner Harbor on Friday afternoon before my meeting began at 6.

It was interesting to see another lightship.  My dad was instrumental in restoring a similar one, The Overfalls, in Lewes, DE.

We didn't have time to do the on board tours of the Chesapeake or any of the other boats in the harbor. That will have to wait until our next trip to Baltimore.

U.S.S Constellation, constructed in 1854

Below is a seriously blown-out image of the Constellation.  I forget to check my camera settings before I shot the image.  It is so "not right", but there is something kind of magical about it that I like. Don't ask me why.

We had a nice lunch at an Irish pub overlooking the harbor.

After lunch and a little bit of shopping, where Weber got a new hat, we headed back to the hotel to rest a little before my meeting began.

The Friday night meeting only lasted about two hours.  It was during that time that the horrific events in Paris took place.  We emerged from the board room to see the chaos unfolding on every TV in the hotel.

While we were touring the city in the afternoon, we passed by the World Trade Center in Baltimore.  In front was a piece of mangled steel, a remnant of the devastation from the terrorist attack on the The World Trade Center in New York.

I had no idea when I took this photo that in only hours terrorists would again strike in one of the world's major cities.  We flew home early Sunday morning.  The security lines were long and slow at the airport and there seemed to be more TSA agents than usual.  I suppose this could have been my imagination or perhaps a coincidence.

Despite the uneasiness in the world, Monday morning came and we routinely started our school week like every other one this semester.  When I got to school, however, my students were not interested in analyzing Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata or writing four-part chorales; they wanted to talk about what was going on in the world.  My job is to educate; sometimes that means setting aside my own lesson plans and "teaching" something different, something that would never be included on any course syllabus. I can answer the students' questions about what chords Beethoven is using, or how to avoid parallel fifths in part writing, but I cannot answer, "Why did this happen in Paris?" or, "Do you think we are on the verge of a Third World War?"  I don't know.  For the duration of that discussion, my students and I were on equal ground, no teacher and students, only people waiting, wondering, and praying about what the future holds.

All week long, the flags on campus that flew at half mast were a constant reminder that we are a grieving world.

On a different note, here is a twirl and haiku from this week...

"The Kiss"

Carefully chosen

To express the hidden me

Words and images.

The cat has decided that the puppy is no threat to her.  Honestly, Piper has absolutely no interest in Frankie.  Though Frankie will never admit it, I think that hurts her feelings a little bit.  With all of the unrest in the world, it is comforting to have peace at home!

Little, dog, big dog, medium dog, and cat happily co-existing!

And the week ended with me making pumpkin butter, a sign that the holidays are fast approaching as pumpkin butter is one of those things that I seem to only make around this time of year.  For the recipe, visit www.pixelsplatesandlols.blogspot.com

Despite all of the ugliness in the world right now, there still exist many reasons to be thankful.  This week I am thankful for safe travels, caring students, loving family and friends, my four-legged furry family members, a forgiving heart, time to make pumpkin butter, and hope.

More Thoughts On Time

When time is a day

Rather than twenty-four hours,

It's measured in calm.

KEB 11/11/15

Today's prompt "Twilight"

Thought for Today

Most of my thinking happens on a yellow legal pad.  I am thankful for those yellow legal pads that help bring my thoughts to life!

Thankful To Be Grateful

Sunday began November and the season of Thanksgiving.  I love this time of year - the falling leaves, the cooler temperatures,  big pots of warm soup, and the flannel sheets back on my bed.   I also like the idea of being intentional about giving thanks, but, it's confession time, I don't really like the Thanksgiving holiday.  It always seems like way too much work resulting in way too much food for way too little enjoyment.  By the time we get everyone's "one favorite" Thanksgiving dish on the menu it seems that we end up with enough food to feed eighty rather than the eight of us.  And of course I feel obligated to taste at least o little bite of everything and before I know it I have "tasted" way more than I needed or wanted.  Over the years I have tried to find ways to simplify the Thanksgiving feast, but none has been particularly successful.

In an effort to perhaps prepare myself a little better spiritually for Thanksgiving Day,  I decided to take time each day during the month of November to acknowledge something for which I am thankful.  I started on Sunday by first considering what it means to be thankful.  I realized that in my own thinking and writing, I tend to use the word "grateful" more often than "thankful."  This sent me on a mental expedition in search of what the difference between these two words is.  I had a hard time coming up with something concrete ton my own hat distinguished the two, so I turned to the dictionary.  I was surprised by what I found.

Thankful is defined as "pleased or relieved" and  grateful as "feeling or showing an appreciation of kindness."  These definitions seem to have totally different connotations, yet each definition also gives the other word as a synonym.  It is the word "relieved" used in the definition of thankful; that feels a bit odd to me.  Even when I do choose to use the word "thankful" rather than "grateful," it is never because I am in need of expressing relief.

I am thankful for my family.  I am relieved  by my family.  Um...no.  This doesn't even begin to make sense.  I am grateful for my family.  I am  appreciative of my family.  I can live with the latter.

Thinking on these two words has done nothing to help clarify for me the distinction between them or their proper usage.  Fortunately, it is only November 5th.  Perhaps by the end of the month I will have better sense of each.  For now, I am thankful that there is no reason that I have to be clear on the subtlety of these words and I'm grateful for the opportunity to continue pondering what is most certainly an extremely important concept, I'm sure.

Here are the things that in these first five days of November for which I am thankful/grateful.

November 1: I am grateful for who I am.  I have lots of imperfections, but they all contribute to making me who I am.  I am blessed by my family, friends, and by the work that I do.  I do my very best to be in a light in my small corner of the world, but I also strive to keep that light from shining on me.

November 2: I am grateful for the newest member of our family and for Brooke's help in training and loving this little pup.

November 3: I am grateful for a peaceful backyard where the dogs can play and I can kick off my shoes and relax.

November 4: Though the time change leaves me little light for photography when I get home from school, I am grateful for the quiet of the long dark nights.

Grateful for the calm

Of the dark and quiet night.

Day's long lullaby.

November 5: I am grateful for comfortable clothes - my duck jammies, a sweatshirt, Crocs, and tie-dyed socks.  I am also grateful for a husband who loves me even when I am wearing duck jammies, a sweatshirt, Crocs, and tie-dyed socks.  I am also thankful for that husband who, after dropping me off at school at 7:15 this morning, went home to get my lunch that I forgot and brought it to me on his way to school.

I need to remember that often the little things are the big things and the big things are just little things.

Love Unlocked

Keep your heart open;.

True beauty is felt,  not seen.

Obstacles persist.

KEB 10/21/15

Simple Things

Ideas flying

Crazy thoughts, faraway dreams.

What will become real?

KEB 10/14/15