No. 2 is 20

Twenty years ago on this day, I had thirty-some staples in my abdomen, a horrific spinal headache and a brand new baby girl.  Today we celebrated Erin's twentieth birthday - and the fact that I have successfully raised all of my offspring through the teenage years. (This post is tagged with teenagers.  I guess it will be the last time I use it for a good long while.)

Erin is one for establishing and maintaining traditions.  Unfortunately, at least one of her traditions is not so worthy of the attention it too often gets.  She has this thing for getting sick on holidays.  At age two, she broke out with the chicken pox in church on Easter Sunday.  Her little pink dots matched her pretty pink dress.  Her first experience with the flu was on Thanksgiving and then there was the swine flu on Earth Day, the stitches on Mother's Day . . .Unfortunately, today she kept with her tradition.

The kids had planned to make a gingerbread house today and Erin had delegated all of the various components of her birthday meal.  Brooke was to make bread for the chicken pesto sandwiches that Edgar was going to make.  I was to make broccoli salad.  And Brooke also was to make a strawberry cake.  But, this morning I got a text from Erin saying that her throat hurt and all that she wanted to eat was soup and smoothies.  We offered to postpone her birthday until she felt better but that wouldn't do.  After negotiating an acceptable Plan B, we settled on macaroni and cheese from scratch, brussels sprouts and spinach and pear salad.  Doesn't that sound like comfort food to you?

Macaroni and cheese slides down a sore throat fairly easily and roasted brussels sprouts are just pretty darn good.  Erin didn't even want her cake today.  Her sister is going to make it for her on New Year's Eve.  After our meal we went out for frozen yogurt.  That soothed the birthday girl's sore throat and was somewhat of a birthday treat.

The girls and I started the birthday festivities on Friday by going out to lunch and spending the afternoon shopping.  Erin arrived today in a big cozy sweater that she found that day.
I suspect that she didn't want to postpone her birthday because if she had to feel so crappy she should at least get to open her presents!

As she started opening her gifts, the fact that we are a bunch of foodies whacked us all in the face!  This is what was in the big green package . . .

 . . . a juicer.  Doesn't every twenty year-old want a juicer?  Well, this one did and her dad got it for her.

And Brooke got her this.

I think it is in response to text messages asking her sister what to do with twenty pounds of peaches or oranges or cucumbers.

Another family tradition that we have is that on your birthday you get a dollar lottery ticket for each year of your age.

Brooke is usually the big winner here, winning often times double her age.  That was not the case this year.  Though neither of the girls won big, Erin managed $11 with her twenty tickets to Brooke's $9 with her twenty-three.  Since we only waste spend money on lottery tickets once a year, the loss here is minimal; it is worth the fun of scratching them.

After all of the excitement, Erin fell asleep on the couch.  By 5:30, we scooped her up and sent her home to rest in the hope that she will feel better before Christmas.

Happy Birthday, Erin!

Visual Cents No. 89

"Practice Makes Perfect"

Friday Night

When you get old and sit at home alone on Friday night with only the dogs and your computer, and are easily entertained, what better to do than discover new ways to embarass your offspring. I've got it here.

Get Thee To A Nunnery

I usually ask one question on each of my tests in music theory that has nothing to do with the immediate material but is intended to make the students think. One of my favorites is to ask them what they might like to be doing if they were not pursuing a career in music. Because students today seem to have had many experiences and opportunities before they get to college, most have a ready answer to my question. To some extent, I think that they may also get better information about potential jobs from high school counseling than I did when I was in high school nearly thirty years ago. (Wow! That hurt.)

Kids today are given several different tests that are designed to identify both their interests and their talents. Erin came home with the results of her tests this week. This is the child who loves theater, plays soccer, and is on the Academic math team. Her recommendation is as follows:

"Your high scores bring together many characteristics that can be useful to people. You are a creative and outgoing person and you enjoy helping others with their problems. You also have the ability to communicate your ideas and thoughts clearly. You may be a person who likes to teach or to plan fund raising programs for charity. For you, what is important is that you are helping others. Most occupations in this pairing require at least a Bachelor's degree or some post high school courses. It is also helpful to have a Master's degree or a PhD in many of these occupations."

In terms of assessing her strengths, this evaluation is right on. So what career opportunities do they suggest she explore? At the top of the list is clergy or nun. I know many people who would like to send their teenaged daughters to the convent but I have not heard of any getting real support for such a plan. According to the test, such a career path best utilizes her skill set and requires the most education. If that much education is not appealing, she should consider being a teacher. Should Erin want to lean more toward her creative side rather than her people side, she should consider being a writer; again, this path requires the most education. Being an actor requires some education. If she really does not want to go to school post high school, she can be a comedian. Seemingly one does not have to be well educated to be funny. Maybe all those really stupid things that fall out of the mouths of comedians are because they honestly don't know any better.

Erin has several years before she has to decide which career path to follow. At least she knows what some of her options are - and aren't. She scored a zero on the business and management section. She is quite organized and could perform jobs in this area, but I know she would not be happy. So, check back in six or eight years to see how accurate this test is.

I remember taking a similar test when I was in high school. It recommended that I be a forest ranger. I am not sure what this was based on. I do enjoy the outdoors. There are times when I would be perfectly content in a cabin in the woods communing with nature. My second option was to become a lawyer. Yeah, well. Third on the list was a musician. I don't remember if teacher was suggested at all. At this point in my life, though there are many things that I enjoy and I would be happy doing, I can't imagine doing anything that did not involve some aspect of teaching.

Did you take any test like these? Were they accurate? What are you doing now? What would you like to be doing?

Thick Head, Thin Ice

I am skeptical of any occasion than requires me to think about what I am going to say in advance. I like spontaneity, creativity, and freedom. Who wants to live a scripted life? However, I did think a little bit about what I would say to Brooke as we parted ways in Chicago.

I could have burdened her with the "You are being given such a wonderful opportunity here. I hope you understand the sacrifices that are being made on your behalf. I expect you to take this seriously and study hard." You get the drift. Had I said this to her, she would have rolled her eyes at me and given me that look that means nothing other than stop with the bullshit. She would never respond positively to such a plea on my part.

I could have given her the "We love you and we are proud of you. Anything that you want to do is fine with me; just be happy." This is a nice thought on the surface, but it is way to mushy for Brooke, and for me too.

So, we began our walk behind the bagpipes with me resorting to the tried and true spontaneous moment. As I gave her a hug, the words that came out of my mouth were, "Try to learn to be a team player." This sounds a little stupid since this kid has been a part of many sports TEAMS since she was four. She was the soccer team captain last year, a position that she did not want but that the coaches wanted her to have. She was perfectly happy taking her place in the goal box and waiting for someone to either slam a ball into her face or body slam her into the ground. Enduring the physical abuse that a goalie takes was much more appealing to Brooke than having to be caught up in the drama of the field players.

In class, she always does her best, but she is not one to engage in dialogue or discussion. She believes that everyone is entitled to their opinion. If she disagrees with you it really doesn't matter and she will not put forth any energy to discuss it. She thinks what she thinks and that is all that really matters.

Although, maybe my advice wasn't so bad after all. She is in an environment where there is much to be gained by joining the team, a team that will allow you to push your personal limits and the limits of academia. Perhaps she will realize that. There are places where nonconformity is beneficial, but there are also many places where it is not.

After we left her and I was pondering my last minute advice, we passed this sign while walking through campus. On a campus that has been home to 78 Nobel Prize winners, the need for such a warning made me laugh. On the literal level, it may be good advice for the girl from Texas who thinks that she does not need a heavy coat (though the coat she finally ordered has arrived). On the metaphorical level, however, thin ice may be the best place for her - testing the strength of her ideas and her potential to save herself if she should fall through and find herself floundering in the icy cold water.

Finally, An Answer!

If you are a regular reader here, you may remember my daughter's question from a month ago concerning her appearance and how she was cast in a stage production. Well, she finally has an answer.

Over the weekend, while she was out with a drama buddy from school, I got a phone call from her in which, in a very excited voice, she said, "Mama, I'm a whore! I'm a whore!" I responded like any good mother would with, "I am so proud of you! And, I guess this means you don't look like a boy. " I know I should not be proud of having raised a whore, but . . .Well, maybe this all goes back to that HPV thing.

Really, I am proud of her. Last week she auditioned for two different shows. The first was Dracula. She was happy with her read and felt like she had done the best that she could. The next evening, she auditioned for The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. Though after she had read for Dracula she was a little more interested in the show, her passion really lies with doing musicals. All of us who call ourselves her family encouraged her to go to both auditions because you can never have too much experience with that part of theater. Two days after the first audition, Erin got a call from the director of Dracula saying that she did not feel comfortable casting her because of her age. This particular script is a bit risque.

She did not put her actual age on her Whorehouse audition form; she put an age range that she thought she could realistically play - 15-22. She is 14.
Erin knew that she had to come across older than she actually is; she also knew that the selection she chose to sing would impact that tremendously. So what did she choose? "Dance Ten, Looks Three" from A Chorus Line. And which 16 measures did she sing? The part that begins with "Tits and ass, got myself a fancy pair . . ." Needless to say, she did not look or sound like she was only 14. And, she got a part in the show.

Once all the casting was complete, she did not end up being a whore. She is in the chorus for the preacher, a towns person, and part of the Texas Aggie drill team, the last requires her to do a tap routine with a )male) doll. But, she really is not a whore!

Despite the whole whore thing, doing this show is a great opportunity for her. She is working with some very talented and experienced older actors. I suppose it goes without saying that she is the youngest cast member. Also, all of her roles are heavy dance parts. In the triple threat, singing, acting, dancing, she feels like her dancing is the weakest. So here is Erin's chance to grow in that area.

The icing on the cake here is that the director who cast her as the gander in Honk is also in Best Little Whorehouse. We'll see if he thinks she looks like a boy in this show!

Observations From The Pediatrician's Office

I took both my girls to the doctor, actually the pediatrician this morning for vaccines. Brooke needed the meningitis shot before leaving for college and both girls received the HPV vaccine. Yes, I am one of those liberal parents who, by vaccinating their children against a life threatening illness. is promoting promiscuity. Whatever . . .

The true reason for the visit was not nearly as interesting as some of the observations that the three of us made while in the doctor's office. I will admit up front that these are random findings so don't spend too much time looking for "the point".

1. When we first arrived in the waiting room this morning, there were two other patients waiting to be seen. Both were little boys and both were accompanied by their fathers. I really am not sexist, but it was unusual to see small children at the pediatricians office with their daddies. One of the men was engrossed in a magazine while his son played with the toys in the corner of the office. The other, who was wearing a blue T-shirt with what looked like the Superman logo on it that actually said "Superdad", was sound to sleep and snoring in the seat a few down from us. Another sexist remark - a mother who was asleep at the switch would not earn a "Supermom" T-shirt but rather a visit from CPS! When the nurse came to call this family back to the exam room, Dad snored on. The little boy, who was probably three, came over and grabbed his daddy's arm and said, "Wake up! They just called Christopher. That is me. Wake up! It took dad a minute or so to wake up and make his way to see the doctor. Perhaps they were there to see if narcolepsy is genetic.

2. The office policy seems to be "If you can't beat 'em, join em." So, they always have a Disney movie showing on the TV. As we were watching Tarzan, Erin commented on the fact that in many of Disney's movies, the father figure dies - Tarzan, Lion King, Cinderella. How depressing is that?, she asked. In the back of my head all I could think was that it was preparing the children of all those going to fight in Iraq for the real possibility that they may grow up without their fathers. I realize this is a bit cynical, but truer than we'd all like to admit.

3. As we were leaving, the movie had switched to Cars. Erin allowed as how this movie was gong to create an entire generation of poor drivers. And, "those talking cars are creepy anyway." I think I am raising the next generation of the TV watchdog group. I guess that is preferable to a bad driver.

4. We have been seeing the same pediatrician since Brooke was born 17 1/2 years ago. In all that time I have never been unhappy with any of the office personnel or the care and treatment either of the girls has received. Because we were only there for vaccines today, we saw only a nurse, one whom I have never seen before. Usually the nurses are upbeat and cheerful. Today's nurse, who I hope was on loan from a temp agency was less than cheerful and, well, not quite bright. I think having two children in the room at once was more then she could handle.

Once we established that Brooke needed the meningitis vaccine and the second dose of HPV and Erin needed the first HPV dose, I thought we were good to go. She came back and began with Brooke. "You are getting the first shot, right?, as she plunged the needle into her arm. "NO. The second!" "they are the same." Unphased, she then gave Brooke her other vaccine and Erin hers.

When we were in the office two months ago, I had given the doctor's office Brooke's immunization record that needed to be filled out by them and mailed to U of C. At that time the office was out of meningitis vaccines so they placed the form in her file to be completed and mailed once the vaccines were in. That was today. When I asked the nurse about the form, she looked at me like I had asked her if I could borrow a hundred dollars. She then replied, "What part of this are we supposed to fill out?" By this point, I had lost my patience. I snatched the form from her and pointed to the big orange letters that said, TO BE FILLED OUT BY YOUR HEALTH CARE PROFESSIONAL" She then said to me, "We can't complete this form because she did not have a physical." Again I snatched the form and pointed to the big black letters at the top that read, IMMUNIZATION RECORD. Without a word she took the from back and left the room. As it turns out, she had the doctor sign the blank form (except for the personal stuff that Brooke had filled out) and gave me a copy of the immunization page from her file so that I could transfer the information to the U of C form. It is a good thing that no one took my blood pressure as I was leaving the office.

When we got outside, Erin accused me of being harsh with the nurse. "That is how mistakes are made and people die in hospitals!" I could have overlooked any one of these things but the combination pushed all my buttons. Should we ever encounter this nurse again, the harshness will be increased logarithmically! Fortunately for Brooke, this was her last visit to the pediatrician. She's a big girl now.

So, Erin, I will try not to embarrass you next time, but you know how I feel about idiots, especially when it is your well-being at stake. Sorry! No, I'm not.