I'm Home . . . Who Cares

I just returned home from a fun filled few days of fiber and fleece. (Wow, where did all that alliteration come from?) Anyway, I spent the weekend in the Texas hill country at The Kid 'N Ewe an Llama Too festival in Boerne, Texas. We had a booth in the vendor pavilion, trying to sell a few patterns and yarn. The show was a little slow, but we had a good weekend nonetheless. Though it is hard to get away from home because animals and children need tending to, I did manage this time. I always feel a little guilty about leaving my responsibilities behind; however, I also know that time away is important.

I returned home to, well, a rather cold welcome. I called home at 4:15 to say that we were on our way home and should be home in about six hours. Thanks to cooperative traffic, we did get home exactly as predicted. The dogs greeted me. The human beings in my house didn't notice I was home. Erin sat glued to the TV giving me a look like a "hi" would cause her to miss a crucial detail of whatever brain candy she was watching. Mike, whom I have not seen in a month because he has been in South Africa on business, could not manage to stay up to make sure I got home OK. I don't think anyone really cares if I am home or not. Maybe I should leave again. Where could I go? Right now I am too tired to figure out where to go but with a little sleep I am sure I could dream up a workable plan.

For now I guess I will be happy knowing that the animals missed me. The dogs said they have not been fed or played with. Adidas met me with his tennis ball claiming that he too has been ignored. The puppy's papers seem not to have been picked up or changed the entire time I have been gone. At least now that dog bowls have been filled, Adidas' tennis ball has been thrown and the puppy has clean papers. Boy is it nice to be needed for something.

An Extra One

The last few weeks have been crazy - doing props for Dracula, getting the current issue of Spirit of Knitting to the printer, preparing for this weekend's trip to Kid and Ewe in Boerne, transporting Erin to rehearsal for Big, the musical, every night, and then there is school and laundry, and meals. Like I said, crazy times!

I thought that I would really appreciate the extra hour that we got because of the time change last weekend. I usually think of this as an extra hour of sleep. I got little sleep last weekend; if anything, it was an extra hour of work. The problem is that I did not even notice that I had an extra hour in my day (or night as the case may be). I often say that I need more time in my days. Apparently it needs to be more than one hour. I am still behind and still tired. Why is it that extra "ones" of some things are incredibly noticeable and this one hour seems to have come and gone without me being aware of it - except for the fact that my microwave and oven now have the wrong time on them.

Think about those things where an extra one really does make a difference.

One more piece of cake makes a difference. There are the calories that manifest into one more (undesirable) pound. Or, into that sick feeling that makes you want to kick yourself if only you could move enough to do so.

Then there is one more beer. One more beer really can be felt. I'm not saying that is necessarily a bad thing, just that you definitely notice one more.

How about an extra person. We have all been in situations where two is company, three is a crowd. Sometimes one is company and two is a crowd. Things are rocking along just fine - everyone is playing nicely with their friends - then one more person joins the mix and the whole situation takes a turn for the worse.

How about an extra cup of coffee? I can't tell I have had it. I can drink pot after pot and am unfazed by the caffeine. However, there are the extra trips to the bathroom. The same is true with tea.

Do you feel the savings with a 10% off coupon? Basically, that save you the tax; so you pay the price that is actually on the price tag. What a novel idea. How big does the savings have to be before we really notice it? 100%? Free is noticeable!

Do you remember when you were a child and you found a penny on the ground? As kids, we thought this made us rich. Not so much anymore - even with kids. Pennies are not even worth bending over for. The same is also true for nickels and dimes as well. Younger children may make an effort to pick up a quarter. Bills usually gather attention, probably because you have to at least bend over to determine their value. Once you are bent, you may as well pick it up. Do you feel the value of an extra dollar?

A dollar will buy a (cheap) cup of coffee. No Starbucks for a dollar but QT (our favorite gas station) has pretty good coffee for less than a dollar. A dollar will buy most daily newspapers. OK, the news isn't worth a dollar, but the New York Times crossword puzzle and the daily Sudoku puzzle make it a dollar well spent.

I know there have been times when I have had only a single dollar in my wallet and have said that I have no money. Having only a dollar feels like no money most of the time. I really can't explain why I feel this way. Maybe my dad was right back in 1976 when he told me that I did not understand the value of a dollar.

According to the TV ads, a dollar will buy a double cheeseburger at Mc Donalds. Why can't I feel that dollar when it is in my wallet in my back pocket and I can feel it if I change the dollar into a cheeseburger? They both reside on my rear.

I guess we need to remeber that, just like the pounds from those cheeseburgers, pennies, nickels, and dollars eventually add up to something noticeable. If I got an extra hour every day, eventually I would feel the effects of them too!

The Benefits Of A College Education

Back in September, when we sent Offspring No. 1 to college, you may remember that I wished that for the incredible amount of money we are paying them to keep her that they would teach her to use a telephone. I am pleased to say that we are getting our money's worth. The kid has probably used her phone more in the last six weeks than she has in the last six years.

I have received the typical college freshman pleas for care packages of food because the dorm food sucks. Then there was the call asking if it was OK to buy a wool coat. You may remember also the whole coat ordeal before she left. I calmly asked, "Why do you need a coat?" The reply came, "It is not too cold, but it sure is windy here." Hmmm . . .Chicago . . .the windy city. Maybe we aren't getting our money's worth.

Brooke's Fairy Godmother, who also happens to be Cinderella's Fairy Godmother, took pity on her chilly little soul and made her a pair of wool wrist warmers. Brooke called to say that they had arrived and were way cool. Yeah for the telephone! She then called the next day to say that her friend thought they were cool too. And, she (friend) would like a pair in yellow and orange. Perhaps giving her our phone numbers wasn't such a good thing. Brooke then called to say that the second pair of wrist warmers had arrived and that two more friends really liked them. Would we please now send a black pair and a red pair. Is it bad to pray that the kid's cell phone battery dies and that her charger miraculously disappears? I guess it could be worse. She could be asking for hundred dollar bills instead of wrist warmers.

Yesterday she called to share her observations about all the T-shirts that she has seen on campus.

• "University of Chicago . . .where the squirrels are prettier than the girls and more aggressive than the boys."
• "If you had wanted an A you should have gone to Harvard"
• "Beat me. Spank me. Make me read the Iliad."
• "University of Chicago . . .where the only thing that goes down on you is your GPA."

Yep, I do believe she is getting a good education!

I am glad that she calls and truth to tell, she has been fairly communicative. In addition to the T-shirt run down, she has also shared what is going on her classes. She has decided that she hates Plato and likes Russian. Chemistry is kicking her butt and her writing is improving. Intramural soccer is fun but dodge ball is better. And, you should not date anyone in your dorm. That is known as "dormcest".

Brooke's conversations with her sister have been a bit more juicy. She is calling Erin for boy advice. What is wrong with this picture? I think they have also discussed the tattoo design that Brooke thinks she is getting when she turns 18 next month.

Why did I ever encourage this phone thing?

Trick Or Treat

I must say that Halloween is not on my list of Top 10 holidays to celebrate. When the girls were little, I enjoyed it a little more. I used to host Halloween parties at our house and I made the girls' costumes. Some of them were very cool - the Eeyore costume with all the individually pulled strands for the mane, the bookworm costume that involved a hand painted cover of Black Beauty, the Cat in the Hat, the cute little gray mouse, etc., etc. As the kids got older, none of the costumes that I was willing to make appealed to them. Then we moved to the country where trick or treating doesn't happen. For the past several years we have done something really festive, like go to see a movie, on Halloween.

This year Erin was invited to a party, a party that required a costume. My enthusiasm for making costumes has long since died. Her enthusiasm for coming up with one from things at home was equally dead. So, we made a trip to our local costume shop. They had many choices - from Sponge Bob to Hillary Clinton. Fortunately, before we got there Erin had decided that she wanted to be either Cinderella or Minnie Mouse. With no trouble at all, we found a Cinderella costume that fit perfectly. Mission accomplished!

If Disney were running a Cinderella look alike contest, Erin would certainly be a contender.

She had the dress and, thanks to her Fairy Godmother, she had the hair. She is missing only a few things that would give her away if she tried to convince everyone that the castle at the Magic Kingdom is her primary residence.

No glass slippers . . .

and no handsome prince.

She also lacked those little mice, but she has an awfully cute puppy!

So, Erin went to the party and I stayed home. That was OK. I have not been home much lately. I almost had to use Mapquest to find the way from my bedroom to the kitchen; it has been so long since I have actually cooked a meal. What did I do tonight to celebrate Halloween?

I cleaned out the refrigerator! Believe me, there were no treats here; it was all tricks! It is a good thing that I have not cooked anything lately because the only things in the fridge were salmonella and botulism. Now it is all cleaned out and the only things in it are butter, jelly, and pickles. I suppose that one could make a meal of such things if one had bread for a butter and jelly sandwich. You guessed, no bread. And pickles are just not an effective delivery system for butter or jelly.

I also ate a few pieces of candy leftover from what I took my class this morning. They left all the Milk Duds. These are not my favorite candy, which is good because I was able to keep myself from eating all that remained. However, Milk Duds lose their teeth extracting capabilities when they have been softened by riding around in the warm car all afternoon.

Since I have an empty refrigerator and because I did not eat too much candy today, I can hit the 50% off Halloween candy sales first thing in the morning and take advantage of both of those situations. Treat time!

I leave you with a message from Cinderella . . .

Bibbidi Bobbidi BOO!

The Bloody Details

No, all that blood is not ketchup (or catsup, if you prefer). I am surprised how many people truly believe that stage blood really is ketchup. If only it were that simple. All of the considerations for the blood used in a show such as Dracula are more complicated than feeding an entire room of people with every food allergy known to man. It is not so much that the actors are picky, but that several different effects are required.

There is fresh blood verses dried blood. Dripping blood verses spurting blood. Animal blood verse human blood. Edible blood verses non-edible blood. The only place that there really is no choice is in staining blood verses non-staining blood. It all stains.

Many different recipes for stage blood can be found. Some simple concoctions and others that require the talents of a mad scientist. The choice of ingredients in many of them may surprise you.

In making non-edible blood, the crucial ingredient is blue laundry detergent. Yes, using this as a base does help to keep the red dye from setting, but more importantly it is used because the blue coloring when mixed with any of the various red colors (food coloring, jello powder, kool-aid, etc.) makes the overall color more realistic in both color and consistency. Other recipes add a flour mixture to this basic recipe. Some add a hint of green coloring to enhance the blood color.

The edible blood recipes are a little more interesting. Obviously the blue detergent is no longer a main ingredient (unless you need characters to foam at the mouth). Corn syrup is a popular ingredient because of its viscosity. However, when this is used as a base, the sticky mess that results is just gross. Truthfully, any of this stuff is pretty gross in the amounts that it is used in this show. Another common ingredient in the edible blood is Hershey's chocolate syrup. This too creates an awful sticky mess but at least it tastes better than plain corn syrup. Several other recipes use either jello or Kool-aid, usually black cherry flavored, mixed with water. Sometimes these colors are tweaked with a few drops of blue and/or green food coloring.

Obtaining the correct color and consistency of blood necessary for the desired effect on stage is an art in itself. Then there is the vessel that must deliver the blood on stage. Blood packs are the most common means of this. Fortunately these can also be bought rather than made fresh for each performance. Blood packs are like a water balloon filled with some mixture like those mentioned above. The problem with them is, like a water balloon, they don't always burst like you want them to. The actors are responsible for hitting the pack "just right" so that the blood appears. This too is an art as is the placement of the packs by the various technical crew. It is quite an operation. This is one instance of when it is done properly a bloody mess results.

Then there is the clean-up of all the dispersed blood props. In the case of Dracula, by the time the shoe is over, the stage and several of the actors are covered in the red stuff. The stage is not such a problem. A good stage crew and a little soap and water can ready the stage for another go of it tomorrow. The costumes are another story. Because in this show many of them are white, they must be washed and bleached after each performance. The cast here is great. I washed everything last night and several other people have volunteered to take a turn. I am grateful for this. I would have a hard time justifying doing theatre laundry every night when Erin and I don't have any clean clothes! So, I think we have a system for keeping all the costumes tidy for performances.

Then there is the audience. The other night during rehearsal, blood from the scene where Lucy has the stake driven through her heart spurted out onto the first three rows of the audience. Fortunately, it was just a rehearsal and these seats were empty. We joked that the front rows ought to come with ponchos and a warning, much like the close up seats at Sea World's Shamu attractions. Maybe just a sign with the warning, "Splash Zone" would do. Hopefully the problem has been fixed. Now Lucy is very careful to bleed in the proper direction.

This has been my first experience with stage blood. Though I have learned a lot, I can';t say that I have had much fun with this. Luckily, other people are responsible for doing most of the blood work. I did get to build the bleeding rat. That was fun. Actually I have two different versions - the pathetic little rat who must live in a really clean city and thus is starving, and the big, fat, hairy, sewer rat. They both bleed really well!

I promised the bloody details and there you have them. The discussion of blood stops here. It will now turn to something just as amazing - the massive amounts of chocolate that this cast has put away while hanging around in the green room. It is a good thing that it is Halloween and candy comes in those big bags! Perhaps chocolate makes a great blood chaser.

It's Showtime . . .Again

I finished my role as (lame) stage mother while Erin was doing Best Little Whorehouse, and now am working nonstop as prop master for DCT's production of Dracula, which opens this weekend. Needless to say, the prop list for this show is a bit weird. Blood, blood, garlic, stakes, a hammer, blood, a rat, garlic, working blood transfusion apparatus, a bloody crying baby, blood, a meal of chicken and vegetables, rosaries, flaming crucifixes, blood, and communion wafers. Every one knows where to find these things. Right?

Surprisingly, the most difficult thing to find was artificial garlic. I looked every place in Denton that I thought should have it. I came up empty handed. BK and I tried several more places in Dallas that also should have had it. We visited some areas that no respectable women should be seen . Still, no garlic. We enlisted some friends on our search. They made some great suggestions. Unfortunately, we still had no garlic. Finally BK's sister, MH the super hero, found artificial garlic in El Paso and shipped it to us 2-day. It came today and I have made five lovely garlic braids. Thank goodness for friends in other places.

Shopping for some of the other props was a little more entertaining. Retailers in our area are usually polite and willing to help. In the case of looking for these props, however, the response to their question of "How may I help you?" shocks them a bit. When I was looking for the rat, I replied to the offer of help with, "Do you have a life-like rat that is hollow so that I can slit him down the middle and fill his belly with a blood pack?" The clerk quickly showed me one that she was sure would work. I suspect she thought I was smoking something and that she could find me any rat and send me on my way before I asked for anything else. She was lucky that she did not work at my next stop, Toys R Us.

This was my second trip to the dreaded toy store this year. But, I needed a baby doll. The pleasant clerk who is obviously used to making kids happy by pointing them to the shelf that holds the newest Elmo doll, or PlayStation game, or superhero action figure, was not prepared to help me find a doll that kicks and cries and whose limb can be ripped off and replaced after each performance, and again, whose body can be filled with blood packs. She simply pointed us towards dolls and left me to find the one I needed. Surprisingly, we found one that works great, as long as you hold her upside down. She kicks and cries while upside down and coos and gurgles when held in a comfortable position. We don't want any of those happy baby sounds. So, it is three weeks of being upside down for this little doll!

The crying baby first appears on stage in a burlap bag. We made a trip to Wal-Mart to purchase the burlap to make the bag. It was early in the day so the woman in the crafts department was cheerful and chatty. "What are you going to make with this?', she inquired. "Um, you really don't want to know.", I say. "Yes I do.", she replies. "I am making a sack to hold a kicking, screaming baby who is about to have her leg eaten off." With a funny look, she manages, "Oh.".

Then there was the visit to the Catholic bookstore. We needed several rosaries. There were many choices - from the ones with plastic glow in the dark beads to some very beautiful ones made with precious stones. I kept praying, literally, that the one woman who was working at the time would not ask for what special occasion we needed a rosary. I am fairly certain that she would not have taken well to hearing that we needed a rosary with a large crucifix that would rid our lives of vampires. I also did not ask her for a crucifix that would spontaneously burst in to flames. I made that myself. A girl must earn her keep as a prop master!

The Catholic bookstore did not sell communion wafers so we visited the Methodist bookstore for these. Again, I was hoping that they did not ask why I needed them. When I asked where I would find the wafers, the friendly clerk pointed me to them with no questions asked. It was like I was asking where the Oreos with the orange filling were; no big deal. Since the wafers are not consecrated, using them in the show also is no big deal. They are just like any other piece of Styrofoam that you go to the store and buy. Right next to the communion wafers was ash from palm leaves. I also needed a little ash. This was my lucky day. I paid for my stuff and left without any questions about what I was going to do with these things.

I have just about completed my collection of prop items. One of the few remaining needs is a bottle of wine. Unfortunately for the actors, they can't have the real thing on stage. So again, I must earn my keep and empty a bottle for them. It's a dirty job, but someone has to do it. Those on stage will have pomegranate juice because one of the actors is allergic to cranberry juice, my usual red wine substitute.

And the blood - that is an art in and of itself. Stay tuned for the bloody details.

A Day With Big Tex

Yesterday we spent the day at the Texas State Fair. If you know anything about this event, you know that Big Tex is the master of ceremonies and that you can get just about anything deep fried.
Here is Big Tex keeping an eye on all of the last weekend fair goers.

This year's addition to the list of deep fried favorites is fried cookie dough. To thoroughly enjoy the fair, you must throw all worries about your cholesterol levels to the wind and just promise to do better tomorrow. After watching the dog trick exhibition, we succumbed to the cookie dough. We had been on the fair grounds for almost an hour before this happened! Six of us shared one serving (by fair standards) so we cut our caloric intake from 12663 calories to a mere 2110.5. That left us room to try the fried ice cream, fried green tomatoes, fried burrito, fried cheesecake, or the infamous fried state fair corn dog later on. And then, for a well rounded fair meal, there is the funnel cake. It all sounds soooo good. I only had a corn dog later in the day. I had intended to have a funnel cake as a night cap, but after a few rides, my desire for food had been suppressed!

We made our way through the car buildings so that everyone could salivate over the new cars that we are not getting. Erin, who will be 15 in December and is anticipating that learning permit, thinks she needs a Nissan Titan truck. She crawled in the cab of the demo at the fair just to check out the fit. She looked pretty good, but the sticker price . . .not so much!

We are all big softies when it comes to animals-even livestock. The number of 'Aaaww"s" from the six of us was a little on the pathetic side. On the amazing side was Boris. Boris is a 1171 pound hog. His sole purpose in life is to sit around and be admired by fair goers.

During the afternoon, the kids went to see the Lion King. Seeing this show has been on Erin's "Must Do Before I Die" list. Mission accomplished. They all thought the show was pretty awesome. John and I spent the afternoon in the exhibit halls listening to vacuum cleaner sales pitches, admiring woodwork, avoiding the many gimmicky sales people, and looking at a whole lot of unimpressive knitting and photography.

I usually really enjoy looking at the juried arts and crafts, particularly knitting and photography. Both were on the lame side this year. Some of the things that won knitting first prizes were things that we knit all the time - Carol Anderson's Ramblin' Rows afghan and the felted hedgehog (maybe he won because he was turquoise?). Even John, who is not a knitter himself, asked me what was so special about the items that won. He said, "that looks like the stuff you guys knit all the time." And, it did. The deal is that those people who won prizes took the time to submit their work, and we didn't.

The finale for every fair visit is a night time ride on the big Ferris wheel. That is for everybody except me. I have had issues with Ferris wheels since I got stuck on one when when I was four. I'm sure there is a support group for this problem somewhere; I just haven't found it yet. In all the years that we have gone to the fair, I have never ridden the Ferris wheel and I had no intention of changing that this year. Except that I was the only one who was not going to ride so I would have to sit and wait all by myself. Being alone is usually OK with me, but it did not sound appealing last night in the midst of a very crowded fairground. Erin asked me to ride. In a moment of weakness I agreed. What the heck was I thinking?! I considered a beer to dull the senses. However, I decided that was not the best plan. In the end, I rode because Erin promised me a gold star.

I knew I had to take pictures to prove that I was a big girl . The problem with picture taking is that your eyes should be open; it makes for better pictures. So, here are the pictures for proof of my bravery. The first one is taken from the ground. The next one from the cart way up high! All these pictures were taken on my phone rather than my camera because I was too lazy to carry my big camera around all day. I do have a few regrets about that.

Once I had survived the Ferris wheel I was feeling gutsy. I also rode the swinging pirate ship. Okay, I did sit in the middle rather than at either of the ends. That should at least earn me a silver star!

We had a great day. Though there were many people, everyone was polite. And though it was nearly 90 degrees, a breeze blew most of the day. A beautiful day filled with fried food and pig races . . .it doesn't get much better than this!