Toys R Not Us

I remeber the first time I stepped foot into a Toys "R" Us store. It was not when I was a child but when I was pregnant with offspring No. 1. Once I had passed the point in the pregnancy where all I did for weeks was sleep and puke, it became obvious that the kid was definetly staying with us and that we had better do something like buy a crib and a few of the other things that a baby requires. (They do not need all the crap that the stores make you think that they do!) We took a trip to Toys "R" Us.

The store was filled with small children screaming because their mommy would not buy them the 10,000 piece Lego set, the kid negotiating for the remote control car for which he was $50.00 short (assuring dad that he would mow the lawn all summer long, "I promise"), and all the pregnant women who looked like they needed to make a quick dash to either the restroom or the hospital. As I stood staring at cribs, strollers, and high chairs, I remeber looking forward to the time when I would be able to shop for real toys.

I was surprised by how little time cildren actually spend playing with toys that come from the toy store. There was the Christmas that Brooke wanted a Tonka fire truck and a Lite Brite, the one where Erin wanted the Little Tykes kitchen, and the year they both wanted pogo sticks. Then there was the summer that Brooke was fascinated with toy horses. She had the stable and a pasture full of horses but no one to ride them. On a summer afternoon we headed to Toys "R" Us to look for an appropriate rider for the horses. We looked with the horse stuff - there were dolls that were too big and dolls that were too small. Unlike with Goldilocks, there was none that was "just right". With a frustrated five year old at my side, I suggested something that I never thought would come out of my mouth, "What about a Barbie? (This still makes me cringe.) At the top of her lungs Brooke screamed, "Barbie won't work; she won't spread her legs!" Shhh. Don't tell Ken. Oh wait, he was more interested in G.I. Joe. Anyway, let's just say that the horses in Brooke's pasture remained free of a rider. I'm not sure we went to this store more than once or twice after this - not because we were banned, but because the girls quickly outgrew these types of toys. They moved on to books, and books, and more books. They also liked (and still do) any type of puzzles, art supplies, and the dreaded video games. The point to all of this is that I have not been to Toys "R" Us in eight or ten years.

One of the props that I am still missing for the show is Cornish game hens. For some reason, Hobby Lobby does not have plastic ones in their section of fake food with which to decorate. Go figure. On the way home from church this morning, I had the bright idea to stop at the dreaded toy store. Surely with all of the play kitchens and dishes they must have a realistic looking plastic game hen. Imagine my surprise when I failed at this mission. I did, however, make some observations while shopping the fake food aisle.

• Green plastic must be rare. In an entire row of plastic food, the only vegetable was an ear of corn.
• Not only does that fast food industry control children's eating habits, it has also infiltrated their playing habits. You can now buy boxes of plastic food to make a Pizza Hut pizza, the complete McDonald's menu right down to the chocolate shake, and a Subway sandwich. (I stand corrected on the green plastic. The Subway box did contain a piece of iceberg lettuce. Whew! I am relieved.)
• The shelves did not have many pots and pans, rolling pins, wooden spoons, cooking utensils, but they did have a toy microwave to reheat your leftover (Pizza Hut) pizza. I guess this is preparing those toddlers for college.
• French fries come with everything.
• Chickens are all legs. I thought for sure they would have a miniature plastic turkey that would read from the audience as a game hen. I guess Fisher Price does not want to traumatize our children by giving them headless birds to play with. It is much more comforting to give them only the ripped off limbs.

I hope that I do not have to venture into these parts again soon. Who really enjoys subjecting themselves to the craziness of Toys "R" us? My actions today were the result of a desperate woman!

Thank goodness for Internet shopping. Should I ever have the need to buy toys again, it will be amazon.com for me. And just so you know, my Google search for "plastic game hens" resulted in "No matches found." I'm sure I would have better luck with Lego or Lincoln Logs.

Thoughts About Food

I am working props for another show, The Nerd. Unlike The Laramie Project, this show is prop intensive, requiring a huge amount of food. Some of the food is actually eaten by the actors so we will prepare the real thing each night. In other cases, it is only the illusion of the real thing that is necessary. That is where the fun comes in.

It is a challenge to figure out ways to create "food" that looks real and will sustain for the run of the show. First, spaghetti with a family heirloom sauce.

20 yards natural colored yarn (Red Heart works best) cut into 12" pieces (spaghetti length.)
8 yards sauce colored yarn cut into 12" pieces.
spray adhesive

Mound a third of the cut pieces of natural colored yarn on a plate that has been sprayed with adhesive. Spray generously. Add another third and again spray adhesive generously. Place the last of the natural yarn and again spray. Carefully place the sauce colored yarn on the mound of "spaghetti" being careful not to have stray ends. (You don't want to have runny sauce.) Garnish with Parmesan cheese, if desired. Spray the entire meal with more adhesive. There should be no chance that the spaghetti will find its way to the actor's lap.



Macaroni salad, a lot of it, is central to this show. Here is the secret recipe.

64 oz. uncooked elbow macaroni
"Mayonnaise" - 8 oz. school glue (the cheaper the better; it is best if it dries white.)
"Pimento, carrot, and celery finely chopped" - 1 sheet each red, green and orange construction paper
"Lettuce" for garnish - 1 package spring green tissue paper

Cut lettuce leaves from tissue paper. Crumple them so that they resemble real lettuce leaves. Spray large platter with adhesive. Form lettuce garnish around outer edge of platter. Mix 4 pounds of uncooked macaroni with 8 ounces of school glue until all pieces are covered. Mound in center of platter. Using a single hole punch, make pimento by punching around all four side of a 9X12 piece of construction paper with holes three deep. With orange and green construction paper, chop celery and carrot using a comb binding machine. Make four cuts in each sheet. Mix all vegetables. If necessary, spray mound of macaroni with adhesive. Carefully add vegetables making sure that they are distributed evenly. Serve any time in the next decade.

I have to admit I had fun figuring out what to do for these props.

We do need real apples and deviled eggs each night because the actors have to really eat these things. Another piece of food that actually gets eaten is garbanzo beans. The problem with this one is that the actor who must eat them does not like garbanzo beans. So, I must come up with a visually convincing substitute that he will eat. My first thought was some kind of peanut butter ball. That is kind of cruel. Have you ever tried to deliver clear, crisp lines with a mouth full of peanut butter? Plan B was balls of cut and bake sugar cookie dough. They would taste good, but there is the refrigeration issue. I finally settled on KIX cereal. This works great on stage. The only problem here is that the cast and crew keep snacking on the cereal backstage. If they eat the whole box of cereal we will be back to real garbanzo beans!

Every show I work on I learn more about what goes on in the theatre. I also learn what things I really enjoy doing. Someone said to me tonight at rehearsal that maybe my niche is fake food. Erin was quick to agree. I wonder if the subtext there was the fake stuff she makes is better than the real stuff! Surely not.

Blow Dryers And Butter Knives

Appliance repairmen are notorious for never showing up when they say they will. "I'll be there between 12 and six." They show up at 7 and charge you extra because it is after hours. I am fortunate to have a reliable repairman who is here when he say he'll be here. This morning it was 8 am sharp.

He had been here a few weeks ago and had to make a return visit after ordering a part to fix the automatic water dispenser that was not working on the refrigerator. The only problem, to install the part, the fridge had to be completely emptied so it could be tilted forward. So I set my alarm early to empty the refrigerator's contents. Even more impressive than that, BK set her alarm and came down to help me. Have I mentioned lately how much I love my friends? This forced emptying was a much needed opportunity to remove all of the science experiments that had made their way to the back. It was fun trying to figure out exactly which vegetables turn blue and which ones turn green. And, how long can you keep tofu before it is unrecognizable? Actually, it was not so bad. The experiments were not good enough to earn me a Nobel Prize.

As we dug deeper, it suddenly dawned on me that nothing that we were taking out was actually refrigerated. The shredded cheese resembled queso . . .liquid. Definitely not a good sign. When I opened the freezer, it looked like a replica of Glacier National Park. All the way down the back and pooled in the bottom was ice, solid ice. This too was not a good sign.

Thinking he was just replacing some worn tubing, Mr. Repairman, Darryl, had to deal with the ice in the freezer and the heat in the refrigerator. It is now 8:10. This day is off to a great start! He made all the necessary mechanical repairs. He then said, "That is about five gallons of water frozen in there. It is not going to work properly until all that is melted. I suggest that you get a bunch of towels and a hair dryer. I hope you don't have any plans this morning."

So, armed with a hair dryer, every clean towel I own (which is quite a few since for once I am caught up on laundry), and a butter knife that was masquerading as a chisel, BK did battle with my freezer. She spent an hour holding the dryer and breaking off chunks of ice with the butter knife while I sopped up the dripping water. Darryl gets paid $75 an hour; our time, priceless.

Now I have about fifty pounds of soaking wet towels and a working refrigerator with dispensing water as well as a glacier free freezer. I will forgive Darryl for being here at 8.

Good friends will often show up to help you blow dry your hair for a special occasion, but it is a great friend who will show up in your kitchen early in the morning to blow dry your freezer! I love you BK!.

Our Daily Bread

The line in the Lord's Prayer says, "Give us this day our daily bread . . ." This is most often understood to be a prayer for physical nourishment. What if we think about it literally - literally bread made fresh daily.

Early yesterday morning I made a quick trip to the grocery store to stock up since we had been out of town. This kind of trip usually involves buying soy milk, fruit, and bread. As I was heading for the bread aisle, I decided that I was not going to buy bread; I was going to make it. I have no real schedule to keep right now so I can indulge myself and everyone else around here with homemade bread for toast and sandwiches.

This afternoon I reached for my Tassajara Bread Book and thumbed through it for a bread that fit the bill - basic but tasty. I settled on oatmeal bread. It has been some time since I have made bread, and I have never made this recipe. Usually I dive into a recipe and feel my way as I go. For some reason, I chose to read all of the front material before starting. Because this book is written by a Zen Master, every detail of every step in the process is treated as sacred. I enjoyed reading about how all the ingredients interact with one another, what is important in the kneading process, why each detail, no matter how small it seems, is important in the overall process. By the time I started making the bread, I felt that I was doing so much more than just baking bread.

This particular bread starts with a sponge made with water, yeast, sweetener (your choice of honey, molasses, or brown sugar) and flour. The sponge proofs for 40 minutes. At the end of 40 minutes, I was thrilled to see that the sponge had overtaken the entire bowl. In that moment, I realized that all was right - the yeast was fresh and the water temperature was not too hot or too cold. At this point the rest of the ingredients, salt oats and oil, are added. (The salt is added after the sponge is proofed because salt inhibits the function of the yeast.) Now the bread must rise for 50 minutes or until it doubles in size. Again, I was amazed when the bowl was full of batter after this rising. Punch it down and let it rise again. Now form it into two loaves, place it into oiled loaf pans, and let it rise again for 25 minutes. Make slits in the top to allow steam to escape and finally it is time to put it in the oven and bake it for an hour.

This was not a quick process, but it was satisfying. Most of us do not get to witness the creation of something from start to finish on any regular basis. I was consumed by this process that took all afternoon. From start to finish, this bread took five hours. This was not a time to want immediate gratification. I realized during this time that I truly enjoyed participating in each step. The attention to detail from stirring 100 strokes to kneading for 10 minutes, to allowing the bread to rise long enough to double in size are all important to the outcome of the bread.

I could have bought bread at the grocery store yesterday and all would have been done. We could have had a sandwich immediately. But, it was a great gift to be able to make the bread. While I was thinking about this, I began to wonder if I would feel this way if I had to make bread every day. Would it then become just another chore? The same is true of knitting. It is something that I enjoy doing. How would I feel about it if the only socks my family had to put on their feet were the ones I made. There would be a great deal of pressure to knit quickly so that everyone would be warm - especially the kid who is going to spend the next four winters in Chicago!

Everyday tasks are the bulk of most of our lives. Moments of ecstasy are few are far between. I believe that this is intended to teach us to savor every moment of every day. The sacred is present in all things and in all places; we must be open to seeing it. Whether it be folding laundry or baking bread, it is important to realize that each step, each detail of the process is as important as the next. It is in acknowledging the interplay between all things that we begin to understand our own place in the world.

In some things that we do, we may be like the yeast, an integral ingredient that is only seen in the early stages of creation, or we may be the loaf of bread that feeds the hungry. Whichever the case may be, we are a sacred being. The loaf of bread is not possible without the yeast and the yeast has no purpose unless it is united with the other ingredients in the creation of the bread.

Right now I am blessed to be the one eating the bread!

Winners And Losers

I just finished watching this year's Tony Awards. I must say that having just returned from a week on Broadway, I was more engaged this year than I have ever been before. Spring Awakening, a show that I did not see, was clearly the winner tonight. There were several nominations from shows that we saw, but if I remember correctly, none came out on top. As I considered what we had seen and what won, I began to think about the process of determining "the best", not just the best in theater, but the best in anything.

The message that prevails in this world is that if you are not the best at whatever it is you choose to do, then you are not "good enough"- whatever that means The reality is that only one (or possibly a small few) can be at the top of any venture. Does that render the rest of us meaningless? If so, we have a whole world of pointless people. How absurd is this?

We watch championship ball games and talk about winners and losers. My family watched as the Dallas Mavericks experienced a terrible upset in the first round of the NBA play-offs. I can say that we were disappointed as I am sure the Mavericks players were. And yes, they did lose the series. But should we really call them losers? What did it take to even get to the play-offs? A great number of successes. Each of these players along with thousands of other young boys dreamed of being a professional basketball player. A handful of them realized this dream. The fact that these players were even in a position to "lose" makes them winners.

We see the same type of quantification as we watch Olympic events. "So and so had to settle for a silver medal." Settle? Why not be proud of that accomplishment? Second in the world; what a failure! What message are we sending to our children here?

No one can always be "the best". But, we can all strive for and be "our best". If we live to be the best we can be at whatever our gift is in life, the world will be a much happier place because we will be free of the anxiety that comes with discontent. Living up to our individual potential is the greatest accomplishment for any of us. Always needing to be the best, the expert, the all-powerful, is the quickest way to unhappiness, not to mention madness. In a nutshell, we need to learn to be happy with who we are and what we are. If we are truly happy in our own skin, we are our best. We can attain nothing greater than unqualified contentment in life. When we are happy, we have the capacity to set higher goals for ourselves and have a real chance of achieving them.

To those who received awards tonight, Congratulation. To those who received nominations, Congratulations. To those who dream of one day singing on Broadway, Congratulations. To those who are happy singing in the shower, Congratulations. And to those who are happy just listening, Congratulations.

To steal a phrase, be all that you can be . . .and you too will be a winner.

Observations From NYC: The Sequel

Here are the last of the pictures from New York. There is nothing spectacular here, just the everyday images of the city.

This horse just had "a look".

I am still fascinated by the tranquility that is found in Central Park.

The first time the girls were in New York, about nine years ago, they called this the troll bridge.

I couldn't resist this one.

Yesterday we went to Chinatown for the infamous "Coach purses." Erin did get one but she was not thrilled about the process - make sure no cops are around, shove four people into the "secret closet" behind the vendor stall, "that will be $30, Okay, $25, how about $22?" She was much happier buying this hat on a corner of Fifth Avenue.

Here is Offspring #2 and our adopted third child for the week. Lainey spent much of her free time and had many after show dinners with us. We promised her mom that we would take care of her on the trip. She is a great kid and we'll take her anytime. She and Erin share an interest in drama and she and Brooke talked comic books-especially Batman.

Offspring No.1 with Bailey. Bailey and Erin are stage buddies. They have done several shows together. At the beginning of this trip, Bailey told Brooke she was scary because she had blue hair and big feet. After five days, they are best buds. They spent a couple of hours playing together in the airport while we waited for a slightly late plane to depart.

I don't know exactly where this sculpture was. Since it looks like the image from stamps a few years ago, I might venture a guess that it was in front of a post office but I am not sure. I just liked it. This is definitely a point and shoot picture!

The last show we saw was Legally Blonde. I did not have high hopes for this one but I was pleasantly surprised. It was energetic, well done, and had some great one-liners. We have all been humming "Oh my God, Oh my God you guys" all day. I am looking forward to watching the Tony Awards tomorrow night. Having seen so many shows, I have half a hope of knowing what they are talking about!

Though we had a fun time, we are all glad to be home. Brooke missed "her" kitchen and TV time. Erin missed her social life. We all missed the dogs. Liz picked them up from the vet this afternoon so they were here when we got home. Yeah! They seemed glad to see us. We will all be happy to sleep in our own beds tonight. I am sure that the vet did not provide a king-sized bed with extra pillows for these spoiled mutts.

Speaking of bed, I am still on east coast time where it is an hour later. I should go to bed.

Dichotomy In Central Park

I finally made it to Central Park today to take some pictures. I had no real agenda as to what I wanted pictures of, I just wanted to take pictures. Brooke and I took the subway to Fifth Avenue where we got off and just started walking.

One of the first sights we came upon was a group of musicians playing in the park. They seemed to be having fun with the music as they enjoyed the beautiful, though a little warm, day. Their music was mixed with the songs of the birds, the hum of people talking, and the aleatoric street sounds that surround the park. Somehow all the sounds formed a symphony whose title was "Today".

As we continued to walk, I was struck repeatedly by how things that are opposites or extremes shared common space in a harmonic way. The park is surrounded by vendors selling hot dogs, ice cream ad pretzels. Afternoon snacks were shared by brothers an sisters, mothers and children, and husbands and wives. People were no the only creatures sharing bites. The horses that draw the tour carriages were also sharing their afternoon snacks. The pigeons love to gather around the feed buckets hoping for some bits of dropped oats.

While in the midst of the lush greenery of Central Park, it is easy to forget that just above you, on all four sides, is the hustle and bustle of a busy city. The packed streets and people-saturated sidewalks seem so far away. Though the skyscrapers are visible through clearings every now and then, they too seem a world away.

Central Park is home to the Central Park Zoo. We did not walk through the zoo today, but we did walk around it. The zoo inhabitants were not visible from the path we were on, but there were many critters that were encountered on our walk who wee not zoo residents. Here goose and turtles enjoy the sun-soaked rock together. We stood watching for ten or fifteen minutes. The goose turned his head a few times but his feet never moved. The turtles too were like an extension of the rock on which they were perched. Perhaps they were watching al of the humans who were basking in the warm afternoon sun.
New York taxis deserve every bit of the reputation they have. It is amazing to me that there is not an accident at every intersection in every hour! these cabbys'are crazy drivers, yet, somehow, they manage to share the streets not only with other cars but with humans and animals as well.
Central Park offers a beautiful place for people in the city to take a break and enjoy plants, animals, each other and a respite from the hectic world that surrounds it and us. How nice it would be to spend a little piece of every day watching the ducks, talking a horse and buggy ride, or sharing some ice cream with someone you love. As I get ready to head home, I left wondering where the Central Park in my neighborhood is.