The Important Stuff

I am in the midst of doing laundry so the we can pack for a vacation. This is an honest to goodness vacation, not a tag-a-log on someone's business trip (the usual "vacation" around here). We are going to NYC with the drama department from the high school. Aside from no work happening (supposedly) on this trip, someone else made all of the arrangements - hotel reservations, show tickets, transportation - all taken care of. I am not used to this kind of treatment! All I have to do is pack and get to the airport on time (6 am, but I am not bitter).

Packing clothing is the easy part. I am not a fashion diva. I live by the philosophy that you can go almost everywhere in jeans or khakis and T-shirts during the day and a button down at night. If I am wrong, don't tell me now. So, I have the jeans and the shirts in a pile ready to put in the backpack. Oh, I don't like suitcases either. They are kind of a stuffy way to travel.

The more important packing is the "other" stuff. These are the things that separate an OK trip from a great trip. The other consideration is to travel as lightly as possible. I am lazy and don't want to carry or keep up with a bunch of extraneous stuff. So, where to begin.

1. The camera - it always goes. Unfortunately, it is like traveling with a baby. The paraphernalia (lenses, flash, portable drive to download pictures) takes up more room than the camera itself.
2. Computer - This may count as camera paraphernalia. But also, I want to be able to blog while I am gone. You guys do want to see pictures of the Big Apple, right?
3. Knitting - I am definitely taking the yarn that the Accidental Knitter brought me a few weeks ago. It will be a pair of socks when I return. I will probably take another skein of sock yarn, which one is yet to be determined. Knitting socks requires few tools so they are great traveling projects. If I run out of yarn, I guess I will have to find a yarn shop. That sucks, but hey, the sacrifices we make for our art.
4. A book - I have a shelf full of stuff that I bought during the school year and have not had the opportunity to read. I will probably choose something that falls into the category of brain candy since reading is likely to happen in short bits here and there.
5. A Crossword puzzle book - If I going to read brain candy, I need to take something that will keep the brain agile. Oh, we are going to New York. I bet I can find the New York Times crossword puzzle in the paper. Scratch puzzle book.
6. My Ipod - I am as bad as the teenagers. I can't leave home without it. Besides, if the plane crashes, I want to leave someone with a great sociological study about the screwed up person who has everything from Bowling for Soup to Brahms and Jack Kornfield on their Ipod.

Does that sound like too much? If so, I am willing to leave some of the clothes, but this stuff has to go. I could borrow Brooke's T-shirt that says "same shirt different day". I am not proud. This sounds like a lot of amenities; the truth is I could be happy for a very long time with these things.

I am looking forward to knitting in Central Park, taking pictures of Ground Zero and the surrounding area, listening to show tunes in and out of the theatre, and having a little down time.

Wow! A real vacation. Stay tuned for the travelogue beginning Tuesday.

On The Soft Side

Last week I got a Phone call from a member of the men's fellowship at church. He was soliciting donations for the silent auction that is to take place during the annual parish fish fry this weekend. Two years ago, I made a knitted teddy bear that raised $75 for Habitat for Humanity. He was hoping that I would make another one for this year's auction. In a moment of weakness, I agreed.

Tonight I was sitting at the kitchen table trying to finish the last of the bear. I like this particular pattern because it is all done in one piece. The only tricky part about it is that you have to stuff the body of the bear before you knit on the arms. Off to the craft closet I went to find the bin of poly-fil.

The eveining was rather the calm. The cat was asleep on the table and the dogs were playing quietly underneath. I was feeling pretty good about the progress I was making. I had no doubt that I would finish the knitting of the bear tonight, leaving only the application of the ears and facial features for tomorrow.

I was in the knitting zone. Suddenly I caught something out of the corner of my eye.

"Wow! I did not realize that Mom saves all of the stuffing that Adidas and I rip out of our toys. I always thought that we made her mad when we dissected things under the kitchen table. How sentimental of her."

"I wonder what else she has saved. Do you think that she saves all the underwear that we chew? The socks? Maybe she saved all those cell phones that Adidas chomped when he was a puppy."

"This is cool stuff, Mom. How many toys do you think this took?"

"How come she gets away with this? She is you favorite! If I had climbed into the bin you would have yelled at me. You would have taken my frisbee away. I would be on cookie and TV restriction too. How come the baby gets to do things that I can't?"

"Whine, Whine, Whine. If it is that big a deal, I will get out and we can go fight over a rawhide bone or something."

In case you are wondering, I did not finish the bear. Tomorrow, I promise!

Rules To Dye For

I think that it is safe to say that we survived graduation, my dad's visit, and the graduation party. We can now get down to the business of summer vacation and, for Brooke, living as an adult. She is not yet 18 but high school graduation does bring with it the expectation that one will act a little older and a little more responsibly.

Today Brooke took her first big step as one who is free of school rules. She survived twelve years of private school dress code - plaid skirts and white blouses were really not her thing. She did OK with the public school rules, and she even wore :"proper" shoes for graduation. All and all, I consider these things marks of success. But, it is all over now.

I promised a picture of "my angel" as she appeared in The Laramie Project. The angels appeared in the scene where Fred Phelps,the conservative preacher, is protesting at Matthew Shephard's funeral. The angels encircle him as a peaceful protest to his message.

A picture perfect angel, don't you think? Oh come on, humor me just this once! Notice the long cherubic curls.

Well, the long curls are gone. After hating the haircut that she had when she was two because "it was so short it made me look like a boy" (She was bald until that point so any haircut was an accomplishment.), Brooke chose to get her hair cut really short.

This is what whacked off naturally curly hair looks like. I think it is a pretty good look for a college freshman. When she rolls out of bed at 7:55 for an 8:00 class, the fact that her hair always looks like she just rose from a three day nap will not give away the fact that she has only been conscious for five minutes. Really, I do think it is cute.

Then there is the front. This is the part that harkens back to having followed the rules long enough.

No, the various colors are not the result of bad lighting for this picture. They were carefully chosen - the miracle of modern hair dye! School rules said that a child's hair must remain a natural color. It did not have to be their natural color, just a natural color. Unless clown wigs are considered natural, this definitely would not have passed the test! But, school is over and hey, it is just hair anyway. In six weeks the color will have faded and it will be time to try something different. It is summertime, time to have a little fun and show a little whimsy - the whimsy is a big step for Brooke. Though she is way out there on the inside, this side of her rarely makes it to the outside.

So, Brooke's first major decision as an adult is to dye her hair. This is the future of our country. Are you scared? This is the brightest of the brightest. Are you scared now? As salutatorian, she was interviewed by the newspaper. They asked her what advice for success she would share with upcoming high school students. She said, do your homework, don't do drugs, and learn to drink coffee. Not such bad advice. Do you feel a little better about the future?
.

This is the face of a happy kid, one from whom I expect great things. She plans to major in neuroscience. I have to believe that one who is willing to think outside the box personally will do the same professionally. It is those that are willing to take such risks that accomplish greatness in terms of research. Only time will tell . . .

The only person who does not like it is Erin. She seems to be embarrassed by her rainbow-headed sister. I keep telling Erin that Brooke will be gone in a few months. She will not be a source of embarrassment for much longer. Come September, someone else will have to fret over her hair - and the tattoo that Brooke is threatening to get when she turns eighteen

Not A Party Animal

I have finally managed to roll to the computer after eating way too much great food last night. We had a graduation party for Brooke although she is not the party type and probably would have rather had a quiet night with a season of CSI or Bones. I felt like I should do something for her and an opportunity to gather friends should not be passed over.

The guest list was a mix of my friends, and a few each of Brooke's and Erin's. To clarify how not a social butterfly Brooke is, as one of the girls was leaving, one who Brooke has played soccer with since first grade, she said, "I am glad that I finally got to see your house." Sad, but true.

We had fajitas for dinner. If any of you are ever looking for a great meal for a large group of people with dietary likes, dislikes and restrictions that run the gamut and then some, I recommend fajitas.
VEGANS - tortillas filled with grilled veggies
VEGETARIANS - add a little cheese and sour cream to the above
CARNIVORES - skip the veggies, just meat please
WELL ROUNDED EATERS - pile it all on
Add some tasty salsa, homemade tortilla chips, pinto beans, fruit and a cooler full of sangria (adults only) and you have the perfect party meal. It is even better if you have people who love you enough to bring the hot off the skillet tortillas.

Brooke really did not like being the guest of honor. Throughout this whole graduation process, she has not wanted to have a big deal made over her. She tried to get out of going to the senior awards assembly and the district wide recognition program. She was not successful. It looks bad when the salutatorian is a no show. Unfortunately she was not safe in her own home either. Lucky for her, the only chore she had to do as the honoree was to open her gifts - not a bad job.

She was most appreciative of the generosity that was shown her. Interestingly though, she did not expect gifts. I know kids who ordered a bunch of graduation announcements just they could send them all out hoping to rake in the gifts that each should inspire. Brooke did not send out her announcements. The main reason for this was because her name was misspelled on the calling cards that were to be included. It looks bad when the top of the class can't even spell their own name correctly! I offered to have them reprinted; she said she did not care. She did not think that she was owed gifts. For this, I am proud of her. Nonetheless, she did get a bunch of cool stuff -

• Batman Lego from her sister. Every college freshman needs some Lego to remind them of those early years. I hope she leaves some of those little pieces on her dorm room floor to keep out unwanted guests.
• A fleece blanket in University of Chicago colors - someone else knows that she is going to freeze her butt off next year even if she has not taken delivery on that little fact yet.
• A flash drive so that she can take all the pictures, in a compact and concise format, of her beloved family with her to school, and proudly share them with all of her friends
• A nice pen so that she can hand write a letter to me each evening
• A Harley Davidson T-Shirt from the Temple, Texas shop, which she can wear as a sign of how proud she is of her Texas roots.
• The Book of Useless Knowledge so she can look up all those things that I have told her over the past 17 years and see if it all really is useless information.
• Cash that she can put in her savings account and save so that she can care for me in my old age.

Yep! A nice selection of stuff.

In all seriousness, it was a fun evening. Brooke was not overflowing with enthusiasm or social grace, but I do think that she appreciated all that was done for her. She, like me, has a hard time being in the spotlight. Rest easy, Brooke; it will not be your turn again for a while!

It Really Does Take A Village

"It takes a village to raise a child" is thought to be am Africam proverb. Most of us are more familiar with it as the title of Hillary Clinton's book. I do believe that it takes a village to raise a child, but I believe it also takes a village to raise an adult, a family, a community, a nation, a world. Nobody can walk the path of life alone. By nature, we are communal beings. I will be the first to admit that I like to think that I can do it on my own, but truthfully, I know I can't.


Today's New Testament reading is from 1 Corinthians. It reads as follows:

1 Corinthians 12:4-13
Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit;
and there are varieties of services, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who activates all of them in everyone. To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. To one is given through the Spirit the utterance of wisdom, and to another the utterance of knowledge according to the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by the one Spirit, to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another the discernment of spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues. All these are activated by one and the same Spirit, who allots to each one individually just as the Spirit chooses. For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ.

The simplest reading of this passage assures us that we all have gifts and that in the eyes of God, all these gifts are equal because they are all given by the same God. To me, this is the "warm and fuzzy" reading. I think that there is a deeper, and perhaps more demanding, interpretation of this passage.

Rather than see it as saying that our personal gifts are what is valuable, the more important message is that the gifts of all those around us are just as valuable as ours, and are just as necessary for us all to live happily Why make this distinction? As much as we hate to hear it, human beings are self-centered. We like to think that we are the best at whatever we need to be the best at at any given time. It takes humility to admit that someone else may have the needed gift, not me..

We concluded the run of The Laramie Project today. For many reasons, working on this show was an awesome experience. As the cast and crew gathered for our final circle together before the performance this afternoon, much was said about the community that grew up amongst us all. The cast was gracious to the crew, acknowledging that though we were not the ones on stage, the gifts that we brought to the overall production were as necessary as those of the actors. The show would not have happened without lights, sound, costumes, props, and actors. Any error or oversight by anybody would affect the entire group. I guess that this is a manifestation of the butterfly effect. In addition to a big dose of humility, trust is also an integral factor within any "village." We must admit that others have valuable gifts and that we trust them to share so that all shall benefit. This is easy to say and hard to do.

A little closer to home, while I was at the theatre this afternoon for the show and then strike, BK was at my house preparing for the graduation party that we are having for Brooke tomorrow. She did all of the food prep that could be done in advance. Mike made a last minute run to the grocery store. Except for buying regular tofu instead of silken, he did his part as well. John fixed the sticking flap in the toilet and my dad played frisbee with the dogs. We were all doing what we needed to be doing at the time.

Sometimes it is the little things and at other times it is the big things in life that make all the difference. Sometimes we are called upon to share our gifts and sometimes it is our friend or a stranger who is called. And sometimes, the greatest gift that we can give is that of humility and trust. Be aware of the call that you are being given: offer what you are called to give not what you want to give. More often than not, there is a difference.

Our Families, communities, nations, and the world would be a much happier place if we could see the value of every human being and respect one another.

Graduation Day

I barely remember my own high school graduation. I barely remember high school - period. This is partially because it was a long time ago and, frankly, not much memorable happened. I think that the high school experience that kids have now is much different than that of nearly 30 years ago. I know, that sounds ridiculous. Of course it is different. Kids, however, are really not that different. Society is different. Today's kids still have friends, still want their own cars (except for mine who has no desire at all to drive), they still like to have fun, and they still have dreams. Graduation is about those dreams.

As I looked down into the sea of red caps and gowns tonight, I thought about all those graduating for whom this very moment was their biggest dream come true. For some it was beating the impossible that allowed them to reach this moment. For some, they are the first in their family to graduate from high school. And for others, this is only the beginning. Wherever each of these graduates found themselves, this night was about them. Though their were nearly 500 seniors in this class, when their name was called and they received that diploma, they were the only one that mattered. It was their brief moment.

In this crowd, every parent, grandparent, sibling and friend could find the one person that they came to see participate in this milestone.
Brooke graduated as salutatorian. However, no speech was required because her class had co-valedictorians. She only had to read the names of the honored teachers. She is not afraid to speak in public, but sharing her thoughts is a different story. No speech was a dream come true for her. Because the whole thing was rather low stress, today, before the 5 pm commencement exercises was rather low key at our house.

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A GRADUATING SENIOR

9:00 am Rise slowly
10:00 Do New York Times Crossword puzzle with grandfather
10:30 Read cookbooks
11:30 Play Marvel Ultimate Alliance
1:30 Watch a movie with a little senseless violence
2:15 Begin to think about getting dressed
2:30 Think about getting dressed
2:45 Begin to get dressed
3:30 Panic because she can not find her National Honor Society stole (because she left it in the car instead of bringing it in and putting it with the rest of her regalia)
3:35 Leave the house
4:00 Graduates meet to line up (hoping they remember who was in front of them and who was behind them at rehearsal and that neither of these people failed an exam yesterday)
5:00 Graduation
6:15 We are out of there
6:30 Time for a little food at our favorite local diner
7:30 Change clothes and get to the theatre just in time for the curtain. (fortunately neither of us has any responsibilities before the end of act I)
10:00 Leave the theatre for a large cup of Jupiter Nectar ( a drink from a local coffee shop that consists of more than the legal limit of both sugar and caffeine. Brooke needed this to keep her awake all night at Grad Night)
11:30 Leave school for Grad Night, an all-night celebration at Dave and Buster's. This is a good deal. The kids are bused on school buses, lest they not forget too quickly, and bused back to school at 6am. They can't leave and they are well supervised. Parents don't have to worry about the wrong kind of graduation party.

All and all, this was a pretty good day. Even the part about Brooke and her shoes. There was much concern amongst the faculty about what Brooke would wear for graduation, especially on her feet. For four years she has worn nothing but black, jeans, and tennis shoes. Jeans and tennis shoes were not permitted at graduation. I convinced her yesterday to go shopping for something to wear. She agreed, but only if it could be accomplished in a half hour or less. We were successful. Then the question of shoes. She did not want to shop for foot coverings. "I'll just wear some of Erin's shoes." To which I reminded her that Erin has a wide foot and she wears a AA. Brooke didn't care. She said that she would not have the shoes on that long.

Notice the shoes in this picture.

Even more shocking is the dress. She looks great in dresses but she does not feel great in them so I don't force them very often. She seemed pretty happy with this one. She still, however, does not like pictures so her sister had to drag her in front of the camera.
They clean up pretty nice, huh?

As soon as she could after graduation, Brooke shed the shoes. Black Adidas were a fine second choice with the dress. Brooke was then back to herself when she dressed for the show. Fortunately, her character dresses just like she does (no costuming required here).

Brooke as a reporter in the Laramie Project. (I'll save the picture of her as an angel for later!)

More dreams begin today. Even though I am way past high school, I still dream with that child-like naivete sometimes. I hope I never lose that.

Dream on everyone!

The Missing Ingredient

Today was the last day of school (or as I said to the child who is graduating, the last day of free education.) I am not one of those parents who dreads summer vacation. I love having my kids at home; and for some strange reason, they like to be at home. Brooke does not start school in Chicago until the middle of September and the Texas public schools have changed their calendar so Erin will not start until the end of August, maybe even after labor day. I have not looked carefully at next year's calendar yet. So, we have nearly four months at home together. This is time that I will treasure since it could be Brooke's last long stretch of time at home - unless she is unemployable after she graduates from college.

Though graduation exercises are not until tomorrow, the girls are done with school. They decided, separate from one another, that cooking was a great way to celebrate. This is not surprising where Brooke is concerned, but Erin is culinary challenged. As her sister says, "When you can burn Bagel Bites in the microwave, you definitely should give up kitchen activities!" Nonetheless, Erin, who is not one to give up easily, decided to make brownies - from scratch, not from a box. She tried this the other night with the recipe I use all the time, from the Mousewood Cooking at Home cookbook, but she was less than successful. Something was quite strange with those brownies. The sad part was that I could not figure out where she went wrong. We went over the ingredient list - Are you sure you put in 2 eggs, etc. I asked about the mixing process - Did you put the eggs in while the chocolate mixture was still boiling? Assuming that she really remembered everything that she did, or did not do, nothing should have caused her baking disaster.

So tonight, while Brooke and I were at the theatre, Erin tried again, with a different recipe and her daddy as a coach. (I am glad I was not at home!) When I arrived home, I was met by the aroma of hot brownies. They smelled wonderful and they looked better than the last batch. After a few more minutes of cooling, I was offered one. Excellent! I congratulated her on a successful batch of scratch brownies, and then I heard the true story of how the brownies were made. Many questions were asked; What is shortening? Do I have to keep all of the measuring spoons attached? It seems stupid to wash them all when I only used one. Can I add the flour after I have already put the batter in the greased pan?

Leaving out the flour was her biggest mistake but she noticed it before the point of no return. We all enjoyed our brownies (except Brooke, the vegan). I am glad that Erin has overcome her title of Loser in the Kitchen.

On the way home from the show, Brooke announced that she was going to make peanut butter-chocolate chip cookies when we got home. I said that that sounded like a good idea to me since she owed me cookies to replace the ones that the dog ate on Mother's Day. Once it had been established that Erin did not use all of the sugar, Brooke began mixing her batter. All was good until the last ingredient - the chocolate chips. It is not that we did not have any chocolate chips, it was that we did not have any vegan chocolate chips. Leaving the chips out causes a real problem with peanut butter-chocolate chip cookies. We checked the pantry for any other kind of chip (vegan) that might be lurking. No luck. You would be surprised how many different types of chips contain milk products. I found a bag of peanut butter chips but they contained milk or some remnant of milk in a former life. Ghiradelli chips are the best vegan chips we have found.

So, here she stood with the six quart mixer bowl full of cookie dough. The options are:

• Screw the cookies. Enjoy the cookie dough.
• Wake the daddy figure up at almost midnight and ask him to go to the grocery store for the chips. (not recommended)
• Put the dough in the refrigerator and send the daddy figure to the store, for the right chips, in the morning.

What a disappointment that Brooke did not get the cookies that she wanted as a celebration. She decided that sending her dad to the grocery store in the morning was the best answer to the whole situation.

All of this late night cooking is the beginning of Brooke establishing her summer routine, a routine that centers around sleeping all day long and taking over the kitchen at night. The only problem with this is, I hate to go to bed at night with the kitchen clean, and wake up in the morning with the proof that the elves have been cooking, cooking, cooking, in my kitchen all night long! If it weren't for the mess left behind, my elves would be almost perfect. Do the Keebler elves leave messes behind for you - anyone)

Life over the summer will probably be a mix of the super dense, underdone brownies with the peculiar texture and the vegan cookies that will not have chocolate chips until tomorrow. The lessons here: If at first you don't succeed, keep on trying - especially if the outcome involves chocolate. And patience is a virtue. Eating the incomplete, uncooked dough is simply fabulous. All in all, I expect great things for this long summer vacation.